I'm not really sure how this came about the way it did but I feel like I'm a pretty bland person. Personality-wise? I'm fairly smart but not at all witty or funny to be around. Life-wise? I'm not doing anything interesting and get too exhausted from work to pursue any of my hobbies. Everyone just feels so much cooler than me (amplified by the holidays and seeing everyone that is essentially a giant show-off fest).

More often than not, I feel like the last bits of people choosing to be friends with me vs being friends with someone else is just me being a nice person? And a good heart goes only so far when your conversation stops short (especially when I'm depressed and can't really make conversation well)? I suppose my friends would tell me otherwise but I just feel lacking. That I come off too preachy or literally people only come to me with problems? And not for much day to day? My coworkers are all super witty but also kind of awful people (aka making jokes at other people's expense) and I definitely don't want to be witty if I'm hurting other people but I don't really know how to be more... interesting??

And I know that this definitely has some to do with the depression covered lens I'm viewing this all through, but it always feels like everyone is so fascinating in doing what they really care about and/or knowing so much more than I do. Even the things I claim to be decent/good at, my knowledge banks are tiny compared to everyone else I talk to. This is partially due to being more of a "jack of all trades and master at none" and not having a deep understanding of a lot of stuff. But I don't know. Is this a frustration from feeling inferior/low self-worth? Me being completely silly/whiny and just a depressive symptom? Me being surrounded by ridiculous high achievers or me just being unhappy with my job? Probably all of the above. Sorry this turned into a complain post didn't it lol.

Is this a thing that everyone feels like? And how do you get rid of it asides from the obvious "love yourself more and go follow your dreams/hobbies and do something more interesting with your life and all that jazz"?

[scatterbrained04]

I could have written your post. I don't have any good advice. The feeling comes and goes for me. (((Hugs)))

[StillIntending]

Originally Posted by unicornsareamyth

I'm not really sure how this came about the way it did but I feel like I'm a pretty bland person. Personality-wise? I'm fairly smart but not at all witty or funny to be around. Life-wise? I'm not doing anything interesting and get too exhausted from work to pursue any of my hobbies. Everyone just feels so much cooler than me (amplified by the holidays and seeing everyone that is essentially a giant show-off fest).

More often than not, I feel like the last bits of people choosing to be friends with me vs being friends with someone else is just me being a nice person? And a good heart goes only so far when your conversation stops short (especially when I'm depressed and can't really make conversation well)? I suppose my friends would tell me otherwise but I just feel lacking. That I come off too preachy or literally people only come to me with problems? And not for much day to day? My coworkers are all super witty but also kind of awful people (aka making jokes at other people's expense) and I definitely don't want to be witty if I'm hurting other people but I don't really know how to be more... interesting??

And I know that this definitely has some to do with the depression covered lens I'm viewing this all through, but it always feels like everyone is so fascinating in doing what they really care about and/or knowing so much more than I do. Even the things I claim to be decent/good at, my knowledge banks are tiny compared to everyone else I talk to. This is partially due to being more of a "jack of all trades and master at none" and not having a deep understanding of a lot of stuff. But I don't know. Is this a frustration from feeling inferior/low self-worth? Me being completely silly/whiny and just a depressive symptom? Me being surrounded by ridiculous high achievers or me just being unhappy with my job? Probably all of the above. Sorry this turned into a complain post didn't it lol.

Is this a thing that everyone feels like? And how do you get rid of it asides from the obvious "love yourself more and go follow your dreams/hobbies and do something more interesting with your life and all that jazz"?

I'm only a teenager still, so a lot of my experiences are going to be different from yours. However, we still share a lot in common. I'm going to try to help you with what meager information and experience I have, and hope that works.
I have one friend. Well, ok, I have a couple. Mostly however, I have one, single, out of this world friend. He seems to think I'm pretty amazing too. This is the experience of mine that I will compare to your friends you speak of at the beginning of your message.
I tell my friend to leave me on a regular basis. Not in the "just leave me alone" kind of way—I plead with him to leave because I am convinced I am not worth his effort, or his time, and certainly not his emotion. I feel bland, and annoying, and I talk endlessly without having anything to say. I become convinced that somehow he stays out of obligation and that if I tell him to leave me enough times, he'll someday feel like he's allowed to leave for real.
Here's the thing—he isn't staying out of obligation. It feels like he is to me because in these times of my darkest depression, I can't think of any other reason why he would stay. But you and I, we have depression. We distort the information we take in, especially information pertaining to ourselves. In our heads, it feels rational. It probably feels more rational than other people are being. I know I've sometimes felt like a mother trying to wrest sharp kitchen knives away from a toddler, the knives being myself and the toddler being my friend.
Two things. Firstly, as I have been reminded by my friend myself in the past: To believe he is being irrational is condescending and ultimately rude to him. If we respect our friends, we need to have trust in them. We need to let them make their own choices, even if we can't see any rational reason for them to make those choices.
And secondly, we need to trust in their judgement. Like I said, we with depression distort any information we are given, especially about ourselves. We don't see ourselves clearly. Our friends do. They stay because somehow, in some way, we are worth their effort, and their time, and their emotion.
You say you are bland and boring and you theorize that the only people left around you are only there because they feel obligated to stay. I've felt the same. I know I will feel this way again, because depression causes endless thought loops that can't be truly conquered or laid to rest. But we can still fight those feelings, every single time.
I hope that helps you some. I'm sorry this is all I can do for you. Know that I'm praying as well.

[jbuttz]

I could have written your post, and also scatter brains reply lol. I'm sorry to be of no use. I'm also seeking an answer to that. Only thing I can think of is that we are at the top and it's lonely there. I don't want to join in with bringing others down at work. We are so much better than that so I stay away from people because people suck

[10yrsgone]

Like many here, I can definitely relate to this as well. Most of it in my case may stem from being verbose/intellectual and extremely patient as it is. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Like I can sit through two hours of Koyaanisqatsi or 30 minutes of looping Philip Glass compositions and not get bored. Most people I know wouldn't be able to stand it.

I just think we need to find people who don't mind that part of us and genuinely find us interesting. It's easier said than done but I have a feeling there are many out there that will accept us for all of it. Not everyone will agree with everyone else, that's definitely true, but I feel there's definitely room for people like us somewhere out there. Maybe it's this site? I don't know.

Anyway I know how this thing goes because I live it quite a bit...I just chalk it up to people not caring enough to understand. It's their problem, not ours. At least I hope so.

I'm not sure if I'm answering the question or not. When I'm with my friend, there are times that he would just strike up a conversation with someone and hit it off good with them. My friend and the other person can talk for the longest time. My friend can draw people in it seems. I just can't do what he does. Also, my friend claims that he has never suffered depression.

[JustTvTroping]

I somewhat know how this feels. I'm not the most interesting person in the world, but at the same time, most of the people I'm aware of in real life are either annoying, just plain incompatible, boring, stupid, or a combination of the 4 (which probably contributes to how I feel now that I think about it). I'm probably just hanging out with the wrong people to begin with. The only thing that I can think of for advice is to not beat yourself up about it. Just do things your way. The more comfortable you feel, the more things you can do. Take small steps first (listening to music that can temporarily make you come out of your shell, write down your thoughts, etc.) before you take on public situations.