Lost my best friend/woman I loved by being honest

I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend a few months ago. This is someone I talked to nearly every day for good portions of that day. This was someone I could spend time with when everyone else seemed to forget that I existed. Sometimes It's like begging people to spend time with me.

I get that it's hard for people because I work 3rd shift. In all fairness though, I don't think the hours of 6-10PM are unreasonable times to hang out. It's not like I want to spend time with my friends in the early am or in the middle of the night.

Anyway, things took a turn after I said the 3 words that I'd convinced myself not to say. I said "I love you" and she disappeared on me. She avoided me after and I got the hint for space. So I backed off. I get random texts from her when she wants attention and I try my hardest not to give in.

It's been nearly 6 weeks and I haven't been the same since. I miss her but I also don't want to see her or hear her voice. I find myself avoiding places and people that could cause us to cross paths.

When I go on dates and the chemistry isn't there, I get angry at her all over again because she and I had amazing chemistry and she cheated me out of it.

I don't know how to deal with this. I would like to go and do what I please without not having a sense of dread that I'll encounter her. I'd like to be able to let go like she has.

Any advice is welcome. Winters are usually hard for me, but this situation is dragging me down more than usual.

Thanks.

Sorry to hear that Echo. Same has happened to me. Wish I had a solution for the pain.

Welcome to the Psych Central community! I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You said she backed away after you told her you loved her. You gave her space but she sent (sends?) you random texts when she wants attention... and this after she avoided you. It takes time to get over someone. If you're dating other people don't compare. Go where you please. If you encounter her just be polite... you don't have to have a big conversation or confrontation. At the same time you have to decide whether you still love this girl or not. When you do you'll know whether to move on or try to reconcile with her. But don't take anything for granted.

How'd you deal with it?

I think reconcilation is out of the question. Her behavior is abhorrent. I think that the solution for me is a simple one. I'm going to call or text her and explain that there aren't revolving doors in my life and I'm not something she can pick up when her insecurities are at play.

I don't want a relationship anymore, but I was hoping that our friendship might survive.