Recently Struggling

For the passed few years I've had Anxiety and Depression issues, but it wasn't until recently, when my Dad came home from being stationed in another state, that things went downhill.

I'm a 17 year old senior in high school right now, and the passed few years I missed, say, a week of school every three months because of my mental issues. It has gotten significantly worse this semester, and my positivity flew out the window with my attendance. Along with my normal upset stomach and panic attacks came suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, depersonalization, I started losing focus in school, and even lost interest in playing video games, which I have always adored.

My dad gets legitimately angry at the smallest things, and I know he's in the military and should be excused for that, but there really should be a boundary. Say the dog doesn't pee on the pad. Unlike most people who just scold the dog and move on, he will get loud and start cursing and complaining. He changes his mind on the spot when telling me what to do, is extremely passive aggressive toward me, and undermines my disorders, saying is "Expected of my generation." He recently caused me to have a panic attack in the car over Christmas break after I repeatedly asked him to drop the subject.

I've told my mom these things, as she only sees the short-tempered side of him, but she is a very quiet and non-confrontational person. I'm sure she is worried and cares, but won't do anything to change the problem, that's the type of person she is.

I don't know what to do. I don't feel like myself. I don't have any motivation to do art or talk to people anymore. I've gained a lot of weight since he came home and I'm really confused and scared. I talked to my counsellor at school, but she isn't the best and can be very judgemental. I've told friends, so they know what's going on, and I've asked my mom for therapy, but after an unsuccessful Psychologist I saw nearly two years ago, she doesn't want me seeing anyone else.

Sometimes it takes time to find the right person to talk to. Please don't give up and keep looking.

ArtsySkeleton, may be you should try a therapist? There is no easy way to tell why your dad is so angry. Military can be rough ...

May be he is the one who needs therapy, but that must be his decision. Instead of waiting year out and year in for that decision (that perhaps never comes) you might benefit from talking to somebody who knows a lot about people and families. It is your life and it is well worth to take care of.

Good hopes for you!

❤️