[bogand01]

Hello everyone, i hope someone will be able to help me with a little question.

I was signed off my work 10 days ago due to depression. The depression was a result of 5 incredibly stressful years of marriage, my partner suffers from PTSD, Depression and anxiety - as a result of extreme childhood neglect (and worse). -- difficult relationship -- then last fall my father took ill and died quite suddenly, this really hurt the family hard. 4 months on i was diagnosed with depression and signed off work.

My question is how do i know i am well enough to go back to work now? In the two weeks i have been off, the lack of work has reduced my stress, for the 1st week i was still badly anxious and depressed and for the second week, i was starting my medication and having common side effects as well as still being anxious. However in the past 1 day i have felt different, calmer. I am due to return to work in 2 days but is 1 good day at home enough of a sign to say go back to work?

I dont know how to judge this really as i have never been in this situation before. Your help and views would be gratefully appreciated.

With thanks

[Frankbtl]

Hi bogand,

I'm sorry you've been through, and are going through so much
And my condolences about your father
But my view..........1 good day.......or even three good days (hopefully!!) by the time you're due to go back to work really don't sound that much for you to be "launching yourself" back into a potentially stressful situation, and I'd at least be seeing/discussing it with your doctor again before making any decisions.
It is really positive that you've had a good day, and that the medication may be building up to a "therapeutic" level, but going back to work too soon may impact on your recovery. And your mental health is worth much more than any job.
But everyone's case can be different..........it might be that you really want to get back into it, or that being at work might help a bit (something to give you a distraction/a focus), I don't know if that might be relevant to you..........but if so..........seeing if you can have a phased return (less or shorter hours), extra support from your manager (??) or adapted duties would maybe be worth asking about??
If you're not sure about returning yet though.........try not to push yourself too hard.......if you need more time off...........it's as simple as you need more time off.
You (hopefully!!) wouldn't be pushing yourself to return to work before you were sure you were ready if it was a physical ailment..........so why push yourself in this situation??
But of course you know your job, whereas I don't, so what could help is reflecting back as clearly as you can on some of the "issues" that arise in your job and thinking "Do I feel ready to handle them if they come up??". And not just singularly.........because as I'm sure you know there can sometimes be several "issues" coming up in a day.
So..........really sorry if I haven't been much help there...........but alongside getting feedback from your doctor it probably does need to be a personal decision.
Anyway......what I'm really wanting to say as well is..........you have got a lot of things going on for you.........if you haven't already maybe you could see if there's any additional outside support you could get??
I know that therapists in the UK can be few and far between, so if that isn't an option maybe you could contact an organization like Mind or Rethink, and that doesn't even need to be totally (or at all) about you if you don't want it to be..........they'd be able to offer you some support in relation to any difficulties you may be having with your partner too.
Just some thoughts..........

Alison

[bogand01]

Thank you ever so much for Replying Alison, you've been a great help, certainly made me think about the situation again. You are right about thinking about a phased return, the return has been worrying me, 5 long days in the office..... Well today is nearly over and it was not such a good day for me, quite an anxious one for me, so i think i will discuss things with my doctor and hopefully he will allow me a few more days to get myself ready to return.... thank you

[Frankbtl]

You're very welcome bogand!!

But when doctors set time schedules (like 10 days) they're very rarely definitive, as in you SHOULD be ready to return to work then, in these circumstances.
Because they can't possibly be definitive..........there are so many different variables and factors in play e.g. the nature of the job, affects of things in your personal life, how you'll respond to the medication (and different people can respond very differently to different medications).............10 days is just kind of a "benchmark"............some people might be ready to go back after 7/8, some people might need another 10 days.........or more.........some people might need adjustments in medication...........
Although there are a lot of medications which don't reach their fullest effects for three or more weeks.
So I'd say.......take as much time as you need, try to do what's right for YOU. You've obviously tried your best to carry on as much as you could before needing to be signed off, now it's time to put yourself (and your mental health) first.
You're absolutely not failing by not being able to return to work after "10 days", it just takes as long as it takes (and hopefully for you, not too long ), just take what time you need to think about what feels right for you.
And of course you can advise the doctor too.........if you feel that your specific job might be too stressful right now..........just let them know.



Alison

[IrisBloom]

I'll try to make a long story short here. I've had a history of going off meds and ending up in a bad way. A few years ago I was off for a while and then found I had to have major surgery. The surgery went well and I healed fast and was physically back to normal quickly. But I had fallen in a deep depression as a result of the trauma. I went back on meds immediately, but as we know it still takes a while to come out of it. So at the 1 1/2 week mark, my boss asked me if I felt like returning to work. (Just office work.) I didn't really feel like it mentally, but I knew that if I did it would be good for me to get back into the routine and feel productive. So I went back after being off 2 weeks since physically I was doing very well. I found that keeping busy and back on a routine was beneficial to me.

Maybe you could talk to your boss and let them know you might need to take it easy at first, and you might or might not be able to handle it, but you won't know until you try.

[bogand01]

[QUOTE=Frankbtl;4891129]You're very welcome bogand!!

Thanks again Alison for your reply, since the last note posted i have spoken to a doctor and they have signed me off for another week, before i have a med review with my proper doctor next week. I will most likely start back next week.
I'm a little worried about one thing though, what my colleagues going to think about my abscence. My office is quite male orienatated and no-one really has time off (apart from 1 guy that had a heart attack). Its going to feel akward to say hello in the office, they might ask me how i am or what was wrong with me -- it's like what do i say? .... Not too sure - buy hey i guess i need to pretend that no-one going to say anything...
Thanks for your warm messages and words.

[bogand01]

Originally Posted by IrisBloom

I'll try to make a long story short here. I've had a history of going off meds and ending up in a bad way. A few years ago I was off for a while and then found I had to have major surgery. The surgery went well and I healed fast and was physically back to normal quickly. But I had fallen in a deep depression as a result of the trauma. I went back on meds immediately, but as we know it still takes a while to come out of it. So at the 1 1/2 week mark, my boss asked me if I felt like returning to work. (Just office work.) I didn't really feel like it mentally, but I knew that if I did it would be good for me to get back into the routine and feel productive. So I went back after being off 2 weeks since physically I was doing very well. I found that keeping busy and back on a routine was beneficial to me.

Maybe you could talk to your boss and let them know you might need to take it easy at first, and you might or might not be able to handle it, but you won't know until you try.

Thanks Iris you are very right too, structure will help in my day, i have felt really unmotivated and bored so a little work will help. I need to move myself from my current 16 hrs per day (or it at least seems like it) to a more normal pattern, im going to try to so that this week. Hopefully my boss will accomodate a few shorter weeks to begin with, work is quiet at the moment so keeping the weeks short will make them busier and easier to take, thank you.

[Frankbtl]

Hi bogand,

Well it's good news that you have a bit more time to extend your recovery
As for your colleagues..........even if most of them haven't needed time off sick, they've got to understand that sickness, illness, ailments, need for time off sick happens "in the real world". It's part of being human, so hopefully they shouldn't see it as "strange" or that much "cause for concern".
But you're thinking they may ask for details..........
I'd say that it is completely up to you as to whether you want to tell them or not.........I'm always going to say that you shouldn't be ashamed of depression or be discriminated against by colleagues because of depression...........but you're not at all obliged to tell them if you choose not to.
If you don't want to tell them, then you can always say it was some "personal medical issues", but you're OK to ease yourself back in gently now, and then change the subject e.g. ask them about what's been going on while you were away or how they are..........
And absolutely I'd agree it would be a good idea to reduce your hours from 16 a day!!!!!
Hoping for you as well that your boss will accommodate for that

[bogand01]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi bogand,

And absolutely I'd agree it would be a good idea to reduce your hours from 16 a day!!!!!
Hoping for you as well that your boss will accommodate for that

Thank you, oh i should say that, i wrote the last comment and ommitted one word, and that was ref sleep -- i had been sleeping 16hrs a day (just in case you thought working! But same applies reducing sleep hours would be a good idea too... Thanks for your comments for tackling return to work, definately will use that