[Rachelakabatman]

Most people with depression seem to lose interest in friends. They cut themselves off. I however have gotten extremely clingy. I no longer have internal happiness so I use my friends to make me happy. I know this has taken a toll on them because I get upset with them easily if they are not there for me the extent I want them to be. I feel very empty inside. But I also have episodes of extreme sadness and anger.

Possible trigger:

I will hit myself, cut myself, bite myself, hit things, break things, name call, and cry until I make myself sick. I have extreme suicidal ideation and fantasize about it often.

I no longer know who I am as a person. I feel empty. I used to be so sure of myself and future. And while I still have the potential for great things I no longer have the energy or care to do them. My friends all left. They said they will try again with me when I am better. But honestly I almost don't want to get better. I just want to be sad. I have a counseling appt. next Friday and I am hoping I can get a diagnoses so I know what to do. I feel so hurt. I was always there for my friends. I would even drive an hour to see my friend when she was depressed to make sure she was okay. Ever since my friends left I almost feel like I am not worth anything. Including help.

[TishaBuv]

Hi Rachel and welcome,

You're doing the right thing to go to counseling. Be open about your symptoms, and they can diagnose and help you.

It sounds like you have good, understanding friends and you have also been a good friend. You are down, but you recognize you still have great potential- that's a good sign.

[leroysavoy]

I think it is some form of depression. Usually what triggers depression is distress which is an emotional stress. I can relate to not wanting to get better. It wasn't that I didn't know how to get better but it was like I didn't want to.

Make sure you pick a good counselor or if your counselor doesn't provide enough value to get another one. It's hard finding good counselors nowadays.

You are a really good friend to drive that far just to hang out with your friends. I would consider myself lucky to have a friend like that.

If you feel like you have no more friends, consider people on this forum your friend. In fact, you can private message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. I would be more than happy to be your friend

[Fizzyo]

Welcome to PC! This is a great place to find support.

Whether it's depression or not, you're struggling, and that is more important than the label. It's a good start finding a counsellor. If you find that you can trust them, they can help you understand what you feel and why, which will also help with the 'clingy' behaviour you're concerned about.

We all react to mental pain in different ways, you feel the way you feel and, like the rest of us do the best you can with what you have.

I really hope you get good benefit from this counsellor, if you don't, keep trying. I have had a disastrous counsellor, but then found a good one.

Best of luck, I hope you find what you need.

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to PC

[dexter]

Originally Posted by leroysavoy

I think it is some form of depression. Usually what triggers depression is distress which is an emotional stress. I can relate to not wanting to get better. It wasn't that I didn't know how to get better but it was like I didn't want to.

Make sure you pick a good counselor or if your counselor doesn't provide enough value to get another one. It's hard finding good counselors nowadays.

You are a really good friend to drive that far just to hang out with your friends. I would consider myself lucky to have a friend like that.

If you feel like you have no more friends, consider people on this forum your friend. In fact, you can private message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. I would be more than happy to be your friend

Leroy thank you for these thoughts, I am completely in agreement.