[guiltier65]

I really screwed up this weekend. I went to a Christian based 12 step program meeting Friday pm. It was so depressing. I felt like I had my act more together than they did. etc. After it was over, I went drinking with 3 friends from work. I thought I could stop at one, but I didn't. I ended up with 5 drinks.
I also am quitting smoking this week in honor of a cousin who died last night of lung cancer.
I am realizing that I need to be more humble and admit that I am a screwed up mess when it comes to addictions. How to start? I just don't know.

[Fuzzybear]

[Ocean Swimmer]

Maybe you can find another group of AA people you click with.

[Frankbtl]

Hi guiltier65,

I could say stuff like there may be falls along the way but that absolutely doesn't have to rule out your ability to get (slowly if needed) back up and push forward again...........and all that's true...........but you know that doesn't even sound like a fall to me...........much more a stumble along the way
Yes, you ended up with five drinks but that could have been A LOT worse, right??!!!
So please don't "beat yourself up" about it, hey??
Plus you have been going through a really hard time which I'm sure added to it!!!
So let's look more to the future, hey??
Naturally it is going to be real hard to stick at one, it's not just you, addictions are addictions for a reason. And in that they can be real hard to break, as you know!!!
So IF another time you could have a soft drink instead........or suggest to your colleagues that you "cut loose" in a different way...........just a wild suggestion maybe go bowling or something else like a meal out??
And the "bigger picture" you really are doing great seeking support in a program.......hopefully over time this one might help more, it can take time, or you might find that you want extra or different support but you are reaching out, you are trying which is fantastic!!!

And the quitting smoking.........there is a forum for that on here too I think (??), but even IF it's a matter of you stopping for 1......2.......3........4........... days, or reducing what you smoke then that is still going to be really meaningful to the cause...........but just take it as far as you can, hey??

Alison