[LostIntrovert]

I’ve always been kind of an emotional house of cards. I tend to take things personally and crumble when I encounter criticism or rejection.

When I was a child, I never wanted to do anything with other kids so my parents always had to force me into any kind of group activity. I think I may have subconsciously learned that if I got really upset when other kids called me names or made fun of me, my parents would be more likely to let me quit. Even now, because of my social phobia I often have to force myself into doing certain things. When I encounter criticism or rejection, I think I figure that if it hurts bad enough, maybe I will be able to justify avoiding that situation in the future. On the other hand, trying to be resilient and fight off the pain almost certainly means I will continue to drag myself back into those situations and inevitably be attacked again.

Sometimes, when I’ve wanted something bad enough, I’ve been able to overcome criticism and rejection. But as I’ve gotten older, those big dreams and burning desires have lessened. I haven’t been able to see much motivation to fight through all the adversities in life as opposed to just avoiding them as much as possible. I need something besides “Suck it up, because this is something you should do/have to do” all the time.

[Skeezyks]

Hello LostIntrovert: The Skeezyks has never had much tolerance for criticism or rejection either. And as I have aged, my tolerance level has pretty-much disappeared altogether. As a result, I now just keep to myself. I am married. But beyond that I have no family... & no friends by choice. From my perspective, no good has ever resulted from me having anything to do with other people. I am fortunate at this point that I have now aged into my retirement years. So I no longer need to have anything to do with the world at large. And I take full advantage of the opportunity. The Skeezyks just is who he is; & he has grown tired of trying to be someone else...

[Fizzyo]

Hello Lostintrovert,

I think you have shown a great deal of strength on the times when you have overcome your fears and done things.

Pain is pain and I truly believe you can't compare different people's pain! If it hurts you, it hurts.

However, have you ever looked at CBT? I know it's not an answer to all problems, far from it, but it is very good to help you with social situations. It helps someone to think about what they believe about what happened and and maybe be able to handle some things more comfortably.

If you are interested, you may want to check out this link:

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

It is free and a good introduction, I found it a useful addition to my toolkit.

Apologies if you're already an expert.

Best wishes and good luck.

❤️