I don't trust people, hard to make female friends

I lost three children to parental alienation, I have hep c, I have bipolar II (mostly depression, mixed irritability) and used illicit drugs to self medicate in my youth.

All of the above carry huge stigma's. I, because of my past of undiagnosed bipolar, have made bad decisions that come with it. I just don't have a lot in common with other woman. Woman without mental illness, happy families (I have remarried and have another child) or are disease free. I have had bad responses when I have admitted to one or two, but find woman tend to move away from me or just look at me like my head is missing. Add this to me isolating, not by choice, and at times seeming unreliable. I don't "chat on the phone" or go on lunch dates when I am in a depressed phase.

I feel much shame and I do not trust people to not judge me. Yes, I have had therapists and I also know if forgive myself, the world will (ahh ...bologna!!, were it that easy...)

Asking because it would be nice to have female friends but I don't have a lot in common with most woman.

You have a lot in common with me. I'll pm you

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I'm not a good person with wise judgement. I had a difficult childhood that shaped me into somebody I never intended to. I'm not a good listener and smooth talker myself, but if you want, we could be friend. Don't be so hard on yourself. There are lots of wonderful people here in PC.. <<hugs>>

Sometimes just getting through each day requires almost superhuman strength ~ Excerpt from After You by Jojo Moyes

I understand, but the absolute reverse. I have never had a close straight male friend and only one close gay male friend, who was mentally ill. I was abused in my past by men in a male dominated school. I have an irrational fear and I admit sometimes hatred of men. I have almost gotten to the point where I won't tell a man about my past. Most refuse to look me in the eye, even at support groups; one nasty character thought that was an invitation to repeatedly hit on me.
I realize not all men are bad, but viscerally I would rather avoid them. I feel safer and more comfortable with women, especially when discussing bipolar 2 or abuse.

barreja---we all have problems..i am a guy... but I have lots of problems with guys...they can be very scary...I had a lot of problems with my father...so you have a mental illness....so do I...some of my best friends have a mental illness ..we need to stick together....I feel good about myself in one respect...I haven't killed anyone yet including myself...and I am about ready to kick the bucket

That made me laugh out loud. I have yet to kill (does thinking it count?)

what do you think barreja...
I think a lot of things I shouldn't be thinking
I wonder what fuzzy thinks

Hey barreja... I myself and BP2, a substance abuser too and am just lurking around this area of the forum for a change. I myself wrote a post awhile ago in the relationships and communication section about my issues with women. I'm not sure if it stems from my childhood or what. I've always been intimidated by other women or find them more rude, fake, two faced, at least from my personal experiences. It's made me isolate myself and be more stand offish. I had this job a bit ago that was a office of all women and wow was it hell. I felt picked on because of my anxiety issues (had a panic attack at work) and there was one girl in particular that was downright mean to me. She knows my bf's mom and she quickly started msg'ing her on fb and saying rude things and lies about me. I was appalled at her childish behavior. Unfortunately this is how I find most women to be. It's hindered me from many relationships! And I also just feel uncomfortable around them and think I'm different, or weird, an outsider ect. So I totally get how you feel! Have you tried talking to a therapist about this? Try and figure out where this issue stems from? I myself was raised by my dad and older brother so naturally I am completely fine around men. It's pretty weird. Even with my isolation issues I still have a couple guy friends. You're not alone but I think you should try and figure out what the issue is here and better understand yourself. Good luck hun! You're not alone here!

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