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recluse1
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Default Jul 01, 2007 at 06:56 PM
  #1
the pain, the depression, the anxiety, the exhaustion. so sick of it all. i'm fed up. sick and tired of being sick and tired. i feel useless and hopeless. and i hoped so badly that when lawyer and i met with labor board mediator that part of this weight would be off of me. but the company low-balled me so the mediation was adjurned. and now i have to go thru all this medical BS all over again. i fell apart right there in the mediation room in front of everyone. i was embarassed and pissed off all at the same time. how dare they pretend their is nothing wrong with me! medical records, test after test, doctor after doctor, right there in my file stating otherwise. then try to insult me with such a measely offer. they took my life from me! they took my ability to work, my ability to function in the everyday. i am just so tired. tired of fighting. tired of worrying. tired of the pain that consumes me both mentally and physically. i dont know how much fight i have left in me. how much more i can take. called my doctor for emergency appt. will see him this week. my meds aren't helping me anymore. i have sunk further into this depression and having multiple panic attacks daily. the physical pain is worsening as well. i feel consumed. like i am the the pit of a monster's stomach. it has swallowed me just to feel me squirm around on its insides for laughs. my life as i once new it is lost forever. never to be seen or enjoyed again. so where do i go from here? what is there left? the real me is gone. i cannot find her, i have lost her.

recluse1 tired of being sick and tired!!!!
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Default Jul 01, 2007 at 07:44 PM
  #2
i'm so sorry that things have piled in on you right now. i understand, i really do. i experience chronic pain and received no compensation from the company that caused it....well, $2500 that i gave to the lawyers after they worked on it 5 years....

i just try to slog forward and hope that each day will be a little bit easier. i'll keep you in my thoughts. xoxoxo pat
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recluse1
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Default Jul 01, 2007 at 10:10 PM
  #3
thank you for listening to me vent. sometimes i feel like i will explode if i dont let it out.

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Default Jul 03, 2007 at 09:38 PM
  #4
((((fayerody)))) glad to see i got atleast one reply. i appreciate the support.
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Default Jul 04, 2007 at 03:49 AM
  #5
(((((recluse)))))

I just read your post and I am lifting you up in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I wish I could lift the depression off of you and carry it for awhile so you could rest. Please know you are not alone and are being upheld daily by those who love you very much. I feel your pain and frustration. Please keep posting and letting out what you are feeling. I am listening and I am sitting right beside you. I love you.

purplesecrets
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recluse1
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Default Jul 04, 2007 at 12:15 PM
  #6
purple, i love you too doll. thank you for everything.

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