[elevatedsoul]

i just wanted to share this...
i feel so crazy sometimes because i find myself arguing with myself... or the inner voice... or sometimes just in wonderland talking about something with it...
but maybe because im a little smarter it just shows it self in these conflictive ways

what do you think?
What To Do When Your Inner Voice is Scaring You Shitless (and then you don't do anything at all) - Screw The Cubicle

[itjustis]

I argue with my inner child a lot just lately, mainly because I've recently figured her out in therapy. It's such a struggle with her some days.
I feel nuts also, you're not in your own!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[elevatedsoul]

does it talk back to you in a different perspective?
saying things like "you need to do this" or "you are doing it wrong, do it this way"
and the whole time responding like "i know im messing up, give me a break" or "im trying to do it that way god!!"

[guiltier65]

There are days I can almost hear an audible voice tell me what a mess I am or that i should just end my life. It is so hard not to listen to those voices.

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

i just wanted to share this...
i feel so crazy sometimes because i find myself arguing with myself... or the inner voice... or sometimes just in wonderland talking about something with it...
but maybe because im a little smarter it just shows it self in these conflictive ways

what do you think?
What To Do When Your Inner Voice is Scaring You Shitless (and then you don't do anything at all) - Screw The Cubicle

Odd you started this thread at this particular time. I've been arguing with myself for years. I think maybe there's three of me inside there. Can't tell. I take a pill when it's overwhelming, that helps. Then, as usual the fight begins again. Maybe I'll go a day or two without the fighting maybe not. It keeps me up at night. Even the Ambien loses the battle. Stupid memories of silly experiences that now I'm embarrassed about. Hide I do to avoid making a fool of myself again. Who knows. Shame rears it's ugly head often. Reminds me of what a pathetic creature I am. I believe it too. The head buzzes and aches, the nerves tingle and I sit and stare into nothingness. You're right. What do I do? Nothing. Just waiting for the body to fail. Wishing to return to the earth but will I? Maybe I'll burn forever for being such a pathetic creature.

[elevatedsoul]

the longer i go without knowing what is happening.. or remembering what happened..
the more it feels like im slipping away
i try to explain this but i think people believe that i am exaggerating it... the truth is i really cant remember anything... i remember some things that tend to be irrelevant...
i remember my SSN and my name... but all day im constantly forgetting and remembering things... having to trace my steps or just give up on it so i dony get upset... im just not present in the moment or something... like i'll walk from the kitchen to my room/computer and by the time i sit down im questioning if i did that or not, but i know i had to because i would have the beverage or snack or whatever..? and it seems sometimes my mind is creating "false memories" but i think that these things sound unbelievable... i hate living like this...
do you ever feel like Pinocchio?

i tried to explain the feeling to my mom, but she just says that she knows what i mean and she feels like that sometimes, which maybe she does... but i think she tends to exaggerate symptoms... just dunno... they told her she has mdd with psychotic features but i think she just exaggerated the symptoms .. like calling the inner voice "voices"

but anyway... its scary... what if i lose grasp of the last thread of reality i am holding on to...? thats what it feels like... my thoughts have taken paths less favorable... while im usually OK questioning reality ... its a little too much right now and i fear it...
maybe i have already lost it... i know i havent come down since my court hearing... everything is just surreal i dunno if any of it makes sense...

im usually able to remain fairly calm throughout... its just that i've realized that i have been living with this for a long time and only now realizing what it is... but its getting worse, like some how i awoke a demon... another affliction demon of mine

i dunno why im writing ... i'll probably regret it later... if i remember to check back...

What is Depersonalization? Is it Dangerous? What should I do?

[elevatedsoul]

i dont think we are pathetic... we're too powerful so the world poisons us and brings us down with handicaps...

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

the longer i go without knowing what is happening.. or remembering what happened..
the more it feels like im slipping away
i try to explain this but i think people believe that i am exaggerating it... the truth is i really cant remember anything... i remember some things that tend to be irrelevant...
i remember my SSN and my name... but all day im constantly forgetting and remembering things... having to trace my steps or just give up on it so i dony get upset... im just not present in the moment or something... like i'll walk from the kitchen to my room/computer and by the time i sit down im questioning if i did that or not, but i know i had to because i would have the beverage or snack or whatever..? and it seems sometimes my mind is creating "false memories" but i think that these things sound unbelievable... i hate living like this...
do you ever feel like Pinocchio?

i tried to explain the feeling to my mom, but she just says that she knows what i mean and she feels like that sometimes, which maybe she does... but i think she tends to exaggerate symptoms... just dunno... they told her she has mdd with psychotic features but i think she just exaggerated the symptoms .. like calling the inner voice "voices"

but anyway... its scary... what if i lose grasp of the last thread of reality i am holding on to...? thats what it feels like... my thoughts have taken paths less favorable... while im usually OK questioning reality ... its a little too much right now and i fear it...
maybe i have already lost it... i know i havent come down since my court hearing... everything is just surreal i dunno if any of it makes sense...

im usually able to remain fairly calm throughout... its just that i've realized that i have been living with this for a long time and only now realizing what it is... but its getting worse, like some how i awoke a demon... another affliction demon of mine

i dunno why im writing ... i'll probably regret it later... if i remember to check back...

What is Depersonalization? Is it Dangerous? What should I do?

You can check back later. You said nothing you should regret. I forget where I'm going too. What was it I was supposed to do. Today is like that. I just don't give a rat's *** today. Maybe tomorrow I will. The mud's thick today, can't lift up my legs. Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'll just whimper and sigh. Maybe sleep, doubt it though. Just don't know...

[elevatedsoul]

i know what you mean, sorry you are experiencing that... its terrible, we just have to find patience within us i guess... sometimes its not about strength, but endurance... right?







i keep finding myself staring at the wall or floor, well.. looking through the wall - wandering around in my mind, i have never been good at handling stress!

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I think in words. When I'm in a fugue of self-hatred it manifests as running commentary, or occasionally a video. No idea if this is the same thing or not; I basically talk to myself or to imaginary people in my head all the time. Asociality will do that to you.

[elevatedsoul]

yeah... i really should interact with others more...
i just dont want to for several reasons... but i guess im driving myself insane
damned if i do and damned if i dont...
interaction = triggers...

i think that i have become even more sensory overloaded - or sensory tolerance is low..
i wish i was alive this isn't being alive... dont think this is being at all - i live in my mind a fantasy world that only i have access to