[Erablez]

Hello, everyone let's start things off with this: I'm a pretty selfish person. Or at least I was. I joined this forum to find "help", but I didn't care about helping anybody else on here which is very opposite to who I am in life, I always look for other people's well being before mine. Anyway, that's about to change with this final thread I'm posting. I'm not leaving the site or anything, I just won't post any more cause it's pointless because this site won't help me. There was only one person who could help me all along; myself. It wasn't therapists or drugs or friends or whatever.
I found the cure for depression although some times I feel like it made me a bit sociopathic, it doesn't matter because I'm not depressed, and I won't allow myself to be ever again.
I'm posting this to try and help the people I ignored on this site before, it's a long shot but who knows, it might help somebody.
Being depressed for so long, I realized something, something I probably knew all along, just never thought about it or accepted it, so I didn't even try to examine it as a possibility, and that is addiction. Addiction to depression.
I was literally addicted to depression. Yes, I hated it. Yes, I wanted it to go away. But everything I did in order to cure it was "easy ways", basically things that may temporarily stop it but won't cure it. Just temporary solutions.
Anyway, I hope someone will do what I did.
Don't allow yourself to be depressed. How? Well.. just DON'T!
That is what that addiction was, part of me "liked" the feeling. Part of me wanted people's attention, and I think that was the main reason I was depressed. Now, none of that matters, even when I'm all alone, I feel happy!
I see the world differently, and I feel like I'm finally truly myself.
The reason I know now depression is an addiction is because I monitor people, I've done it since I was a kid. And I had many friends who also had depression. Much worse than mine. They actually saw therapists and took medication, one of them was even on suicide watch at a hospital ward for a while. But we all had that one thing in common, which is we LIKED depression. How do I know? Because I did the same thing they did when I tried helping them; they ignored my help despite knowing it will make things better. I always looked the other way which depressed me even more.
You don't have to be depressed! Don't take meds! Don't see therapists! IT WON'T HELP!! It will make things far worse!
What is a therapist's job, really?(No offense, it's been my dream job since I was 16) their job is adding to the fuel--or rather, keeping the fire lit. Basically, keeping their patients depressed.
A person who sees a therapist is more depressed than a person who has no friends in my experience because the latter doesn't even have anybody to talk to, while the first does. Talking gives you that "attention" you look for. Yeah, it's just a cry for attention. I'm not saying talking about your problems is bad, on the contrary, but for the right reasons. To actually get it off your chest. People with depression(like me) won't really feel that "weight off their chest" feeling once they're done talking about whatever makes 'em feel bad. And if they do, it will still come back after a while. Why? Their brain is programmed that way.
The only thing you need to do is keeping yourself happy. I know it's hard, I've been through it. After all, it is an addiction, trying to stop it is like going through withdrawal, it's ****ing painful mentally. But if you keep at it, I promise you, soon enough you won't even remember how that depression felt like!
In my case, a specific feeling of happiness was what triggered me to start doing this. I felt unimaginably happy that when I was about to feel depressed again, I swore I wouldn't allow myself to take that happiness for granted!
So a trigger will make it a lot easier but it is not necessary I think.
So what you need to do is:
I.Just do things that keep your mood high, whatever they may be.
II.If you're a stoner, don't smoke weed for a while. Why? Weed makes you think. While it is proven to help in depression, in my experience, it just does the opposite. Because it puts you in a state of "calmness and relaxation" but it also makes you think about everything without really connecting them with your emotions at the time. But once you're not high anymore, all of the stuff you thought about tends to flood back at once. So just stay away from it for a while. It is also another temporary solution. It only masks your depression, it doesn't cure it.
III.Don't put a goal for yourself. That goal maybe a job, or a guy/girl that you like. Whatever it is, erase it. This may be the hardest thing to do yet, but if you do it, IT WILL WORK. Just erase all the goals from your mind! Bring yourself back to a child's state. After all, children are so full of life and energy BECAUSE they don't have a goal. They don't have worries. Don't allow yourself to have any worries no matter what the situation is! If you think your case is "so bad you can't just forget", just think about this:
When I erased my worries these were them: the fact that I may be HIV+, I just came out of a really bad breakup, my dad just died, my family was broke, I just moved to a new city so I had no friends at all, I don't speak the native language here so it's extremely hard to make friends, I had debts, I had to sell away my dog which was at the time the only friend I had.
So yeah, your life's not bad, you're just whining
IV.I don't know if this would help in everyone's case but it did in mine so: try to follow what I call the "no sex/no dating/no masturbation therapy". I guess it's clear what it is. As for the reason, well if you do it, you'll soon understand.

So that's it mainly, there was a couple of other points but these were the main ones. Whether you decide to follow this or not is your decision. As I said, only YOU can cure your own depression. I wish you all the best!

[guiltier65]

It is my hope that all continues to go well for you.