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#1
May 06, 2016, 07:52 PM
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Hey I can feel a wave of suicidal thoughts coming on and it's going to get a lot worse in the next few hours. I'm basically certain I'm not going to actually act on any of it (I have some pretty compelling reasons not to kill myself, all of them other people who would blame themselves/be sad if I died), but it's going to suck a lot even still. I live with my parents and siblings and sleep in the same room as my sister but even so I'll be alone tonight with no friends available to text or anything so. Idk. Sympathy I guess would be nice. I'm preemptively reaching out, although only by a few hours. I may try 7 cups of tea again. Idk.
Once again, disclaimer, I'm not going to end up dead tonight. I'm just going to wish I could. And who knows, maybe I'll end up cutting for the first time in a month. Could happen. Look basically I'm about to graduate high school and I'm moving out of state to college in August and my life feels like it's falling apart and I don't think I'll be able to keep up either now or after I start college. That's the basics of this I guess.
__________________
"Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." -CS Lewis, the Screwtape Letters Teen with (probably severe) depression |
 Anonymous37786, Skeezyks
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#2
May 06, 2016, 08:11 PM
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Hello StillIntending: The Skeezyks sends healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...
 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| StillIntending
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 StillIntending
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#3
May 06, 2016, 08:25 PM
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I hope tonight isn't as bad as you are anticipating. Hang in there.
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| StillIntending
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| StillIntending
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#4
May 06, 2016, 08:40 PM
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I took Valerian Root to mitigate the effect, hopefully. I haven't taken it often enough to know if it really works for me or not but I figured it probably wouldn't hurt and may even help.
__________________
"Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." -CS Lewis, the Screwtape Letters Teen with (probably severe) depression |
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#5
May 06, 2016, 11:33 PM
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Quote:
I feel you. This constant ordeal is wearing. |
| StillIntending
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| StillIntending
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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