Please help 😢

Hi
I'm not sure if I've come to the right place here but I'm desperate and will try anything.

My husband is severely depressed and has been for a long time. He is now on antidepressants yet again and in q a waiting list for therapy but I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I suffer from anxiety myself and so find his depression even harder to deal with. There's no one I can talk to as most of my so called friends have drifted away since I've been unable to afford to go to places etc with them
(My husband is unemployed and we are struggling financially)

We've had several 'good' days recently but they always seem to be followed by even worse ones. I just don't know what to do any more.

Hi LSF

Are you in Therapy yourself for your anxiety?
Hmm - Is there a self-help group for relatives you could go to? This could bring you some relieve.

It's a good thing that you're husband is trying to get better. It can be hard to see your H suffer, but always remember: You can only help him if you're okay yourself. Please, don't overburden yourself. There's only a limited set of things you can do for him.

Can't you do anything with your friends which doesn't cost anything? Like going for a walk



Take care

I've been in a similar situation - my wife was bipolar and I had anxiety and depression. It's so hard... I definitely remember how my symptoms made her symptoms worse, which made my symptoms worse, etc, etc. What can you do to break that cycle?

I think one of the most important things is to make sure your world is never reduced to just you and your husband. If it is that feedback loop becomes too powerful. Anything that breaks the loop helps. Can you do anything at all for yourself? Even if it's just a hot bath or a walk, please do something every day to take care of yourself.

Along similar lines staying in contact with people outside the loop is really important. Talk therapy can be so helpful. And I agree that support groups can make a huge difference. There are lots of resources out there for you and your husband. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance both have websites that let you search for nearby groups.

To find a therapist and get support by phone try calling a support hotline (like 800-273-TALK). Or if you prefer to text you can try the Crisis Text Line by texting Start to 741-741.

I hope this helps. Stay strong.

Spend time with your husband, and subtly remind him that you care.

As someone who's depressed to the point of suicidal, I can honestly say that the only thing you can do is be there. Find little things to laugh about (this would help you both), even if it seems small and stupid. Just be there. The same as he needs to be there for you.
Be together. Screw the financial crap, you'll find a way through that.

Always keep fighting.

LSF1977 you've gotten good advice here so I will just reiterate it.

A support group is a great idea while waiting for a spot in therapy. Most peer support groups I know are free and allow spouses or family members to attend to help with understanding and support. In the USA we have DBSA ("Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance") and they are very helpful for me. There are also many other groups that meet in my area. See if you can find something local to you.

Also take care of yourself. Walk, bath, good ideas. Hopefully help is on the way if you are already on a list. Hopefully it will not be too long.

Good luck to you and your husband.

what about having your chums over for coffee?

Thanks for all the replies. However I think it's too late. After a good couple of days he has totally lost it. It's now 3 am and he has just returned after walking out. He says he will go to his parents in the morning. I can't take any more. I'm out.

Hi
Thank for all the replies but it's too late now. He is leaving in the morning. Nothing more I can do and I'm just broken and out of ideas .

Hi
I keep trying to respond but my posts aren't showing up.

Thanks for all your replies. However it's now too late to do anything
He's leaving in the morning. This can't be fixed any more.😢

Hi LSF,

I'm sorry...
You're posts weren't showing up because they had to be cleared by a moderator first.

How are you feeling now? I hope that the new situation will give you some relief.
Have you ever talked about getting him into an inpatient program?

Take care

Sometimes there's nothing more you can do. It sounds like he has a good idea about going to his parents. Maybe with time reconciliation will look like a possibility. If it doesn't don't be hard on yourself. The worst thing you and he can do is stay in a relationship that isn't working.

Best of luck to you. Keep reaching out for support, here and anyplace else you can find it. Things will change.