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#1
Jun 04, 2016, 12:54 PM
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I don't know why i'm bothering to write this... not many people acknowledge my posts anymore. but maybe it will help to release some of these thoughts.
I have no reason to feel this hopeless emptiness. I have a good husband, 3 grown children and 3 grandchildren that mean the world to me. My parents are reasonably healthy despite morbid obesity, but i still feel empty. I hate myself for feeling this way, like an ungrateful child when i have been given so much. but it doesn't change the feeling of being hollow inside, defective.... lost.... I don't know what to do anymore.... i've quit drinking, so that method of escape is lost to me. and drugs are not my thing.... i'm tired and discouraged and the darkness is growing again, even though the sun is shining outside. I can't bear to be around people, to hear their happy laughter... to answer the question " how are you/" with the expected answer of " fine". I'm not fine... I'm dead inside. How are you? |
 Ceara1010, Curry, Marla500, Sunflower123
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#2
Jun 04, 2016, 01:22 PM
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I can relate. I grew up in such a good home, and my family has always been pretty functional. I had enough growing up, and I have a good job and money to take care of myself. But I feel that emptiness too. I feel so ungrateful for feeling this way too.
 Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk |
| cinnamonstick, Curry
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 guiltier65
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#3
Jun 04, 2016, 01:38 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
| Curry
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| guiltier65
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#4
Jun 04, 2016, 01:45 PM
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First of all, you are not alone, you there are many kindred spirits on this site, sometimes it just takes a little reaching out and finding one or a few people that resonate with you, which might take some time. I look so forward to hearing from one of my new dear friends on this site, she has been such a gem and lifesaver.
I absolutely LOVE Eeyore. I always used to say "thanks for noticing" like he does. Do not feel any guilt for what you are feeling, okay? Even if you were living in the hundred acre wood, you still have permission to feel yucky. I know what it's like to feel hollow, I truly do. If you would like to correspond I am here. As much as I want support, I am so ready to brighten someone else's day/life. I sincerely mean this. You know something is off when even chocolate doesn't hit the spot. 
__________________
"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." Vincent Van Gogh |
| 12AM, guiltier65
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#5
Jun 04, 2016, 01:49 PM
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 Quote:
__________________
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| Clara22
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| Clara22, guiltier65
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#6
Jun 04, 2016, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Honor your feelings, don't feel any guilt. I have no job and no money so I am very happy for you that you have that! I know it doesn't matter to you right now, but you are a gift, I hope you are able to start sharing your beauty with the world. I for one, want to see it.
__________________
"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." Vincent Van Gogh |
| Clara22
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| Clara22, Marla500
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#7
Jul 08, 2017, 09:55 AM
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Hi Guiltier65, I am sitting next to you in a field, feeling the sun warming me, and the scratchy grass underneath me. There is a slight breeze and I am just glad to be near someone kind and thoughtful and interesting, you. I missed feeling like I had someone to sit next to when I grew up, my mom was in an alcoholic fog of pain and medication. The rest of my family looked fine, but were mostly tuned out of life. I don't think there is anyone to blame for me feeling alone, I am trying to embrace the feeling, live with it. My son is an addict and his counselor told him he would always be one, so he should try and steer his need to something positive like meditation. I try and write stories that reach out to people, like books used to do when I was by myself when I grew up.
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#8
Jul 08, 2017, 10:27 AM
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I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like you could use the benefit of a therapist or psychiatrist. Do you see either of those? Please don't feel guilty for having a good life and feeling empty...that's one of the lies depression tells. I hope you feel better soon. Best wishes.
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| *Laurie*
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#9
Jul 08, 2017, 11:26 AM
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#10
Jul 08, 2017, 01:06 PM
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#11
Jul 08, 2017, 09:49 PM
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I understand perfectly how you feel. I have a fantastic husband, wonderful daughters and an amazing granddaughter yet still something is missing. I really have no reason to be unsatisfied with my life but I am and I feel guilty for it. I wonder am I missing out on what my life could be? I don't know what I want other than it doesn't appear to be what I have. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for what I have--so why can't I be happy with that?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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