[Humpty Dumpty]

First off let me say I suffer from sever depression and suicidal thoughts so I'm not just some dude that doesn't know what it's like.

I have been considering for some time starting a depression/suicide support group at my church. It would be for everyone that suffers with depression or suicidal thoughts not just people from my church. The problem is I don't know how to go about it. From what I have seen those of us that suffer with depression tend to do our best to hide it. So I wouldn't know who to approach aside from 2 people I know that suffer with depression. On top of that I have a hard time talking to people in general.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should go about this? I don't even know what to talk about. I went to one Suicide Anonymous (SA) meeting once & felt like everyone in there was treated like they were addicted to suicide. I know that's not how I want these meetings to go. I am open to constructive comments.

[Ceara1010]

I've been in a lot of different types of support groups. And I successfully started an Internet support group a long time ago, so I have some experience with this.

First you want to see what kind of interest there is at your church, if any. Does your church have a newsletter, a bulletin board, and/or website? You could place ads expressing your interest in starting a group (you would have to include a phone number or email address so people can respond). See what kind of interest you get from other people.

If you hear from a few people, you might meet together for coffee somewhere and brainstorm with them about what you all would like to get from a group if you formed one.

Use this to come up with a format, or "mission statement" as you need some kind of structure to keep it together. For example, do you want to structure the group like a 12 Step group where everyone takes turns sharing a monologue about how they are doing? Or do you want something less structured that allows for cross-talk? (That's my personal preference.) Do you want there to be an instructional element to your group, where you all go through exercises in a depression workbook together, or talk about articles on depression? Do you want to schedule activities (mental health related, or social) outside the scheduled group time. Etc., etc.... Check around here at PC for other ideas.

Most likely, you will hear from just a few people, initially. Even if you only hear from two people, maybe go ahead and get together. Just be sure and keep advertising the group. It can take a while for support groups to grow and for the word to spread. Eventually, if there is a neighborhood newsletter or newspaper in the neighborhood where your church is, you might start advertising there, too.

Also, you need to arrange a place to meet. So ask your church administrators if there is a room available.

And of course, agree on a time to meet that is convenient for everyone.

Hope this helps.

--Ceara1010

I go to church myself and I have to tell you that I think that it's a great idea from you. I have thought of something like that myself, but I never got around to doing it. But lately I have been feeling like I want to leave at the church I'm going to. I'm not so sure if a Depression Support group would go over at where I go to church. Plus it would be convenient for me to go on some weeknight but it's very hard to get to the church from where I live because of the traffic.

I personally think that it's a great idea to have a support group in a church setting. At least that's where I would want it to be. You may be surprised on how many would want to come forward on your idea. On the other hand, it depends on which denomination your church is. There are some denominations that believe that depression is of the Devil (or Satan). I think it's insensitive to believe that. I hope that your church does not have that belief.

I hope and pray that you will succeed in this.

I am a moderator of a self-directed support group.

First decide on whether the group should be exclusive or inclusive; I mean the criteria for prospective membership. For example, as this is at a church, what are their expectations? Would they allow inclusion of all persons regardless of orientation, and belief structure? Personally I don't believe it right that a support group be exclusionary but you need to respect the church's wishes.

Thus, talk to your priest/minister/pastor. What would their expectations be. You may have to consider meeting at another location. What would the rent or honourarium to the church be? You may have to do some fundraising or ask that attendance at meetings be by donation. Will the church allow full use of the hall, ie can you use the kitchen for making coffee? Will you have to supply your own brewing equipment? How will the group pay for coffee and supplies? (we ask for people to take turns supplying coffee, etc as the need comes up)

Regarding money: you wll need to appoint/elect a treasurer and set up a bank account.

Figure out the rules, boundaries, and expectations. Write them down - I can help you with this.

Advertising. This could be pamphlets at various clinics, etc. We have found it very successful with a free-advertisement in a community newspaper. There are also several online services that you can post a page on (211, community information pages, etc).

This sounds like a lot of work but once everything falls into place it will run itself.

As for moderating, my group takes turns so that everyone has the opportunity to lead the group. With a self moderated group you need to be very careful about the limits of what people can say. Without at professional present it becomes a fine line between offering friendly advise and offering clinical recommendations. Thus, when it is apparent an individual should seek help it is vitally important they be recommended to do so while refraining from offering diagnoses or medical advise.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I am a moderator of a self-directed support group.

First decide on whether the group should be exclusive or inclusive; I mean the criteria for prospective membership. For example, as this is at a church, what are their expectations? Would they allow inclusion of all persons regardless of orientation, and belief structure? Personally I don't believe it right that a support group be exclusionary but you need to respect the church's wishes.

Thus, talk to your priest/minister/pastor. What would their expectations be. You may have to consider meeting at another location. What would the rent or honourarium to the church be? You may have to do some fundraising or ask that attendance at meetings be by donation. Will the church allow full use of the hall, ie can you use the kitchen for making coffee? Will you have to supply your own brewing equipment? How will the group pay for coffee and supplies? (we ask for people to take turns supplying coffee, etc as the need comes up)

Regarding money: you wll need to appoint/elect a treasurer and set up a bank account.

Figure out the rules, boundaries, and expectations. Write them down - I can help you with this.

Advertising. This could be pamphlets at various clinics, etc. We have found it very successful with a free-advertisement in a community newspaper. There are also several online services that you can post a page on (211, community information pages, etc).

This sounds like a lot of work but once everything falls into place it will run itself.

As for moderating, my group takes turns so that everyone has the opportunity to lead the group. With a self moderated group you need to be very careful about the limits of what people can say. Without at professional present it becomes a fine line between offering friendly advise and offering clinical recommendations. Thus, when it is apparent an individual should seek help it is vitally important they be recommended to do so while refraining from offering diagnoses or medical advise.

To your first point it would be inclusive. Whoever needs help is welcome regardless of their sexual orientation. My church doesn't shun those people. We treat them like anyone else and off them help if they want it. So long as you respect the beliefs of our church you are entitled to your own beliefs.

So long as we clean up any mess we make and remain civilized people we would be allowed to use the meeting building for free. Depending on the size of the group I may ask for someone to volunteer to bring coffee but to start we would be allowed to use/brew the coffee they have there. So there would be no need for donations.

As far as rules and boundaries I'm not sure what to do. I know I want everyone to be respectful of everyone else's situation & know that everything said is confidential. So if I see then at church I won't say anything about the meeting or what is talked about there.

super. then much of the ground work has been laid. How exciting!

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

super. then much of the ground work has been laid. How exciting!

Next steps are to talk to one of the Elders of my church to get approval to advertise in our local bulletin and make an anonymous email address for everyone to email to. I'm just not comfortable yet throwing my name out there and saying come talk to me. Too many people there already know of my problems. I don't want everyone to know.

The email thing sounds great! Check out the various clinics, intake facilities, day programs, and mental health association. It is good not only to advise them of your own presence but to pick up literature from their own programming to have available at your meetings.