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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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Jul 21, 2007 at 07:04 PM
#1
I don't have enough energy to be supportive right now. It's a struggle day to day to help myself. I'm sorry. I'm sooo tired. Too much happening in my life and I don't know how to deal with it all. This next month is not going to be fun.
 I'll try to not disappear though... I just want the stupid thoughts that tell me lies to stop. I want to not worry about doing something stupid. I don't want to switch addictions just because I'm trying to not SI. Mostly I just want to curl up somewhere and sleep the rest of my life away. How come this has to be so hard? I've cried too much. No more, please. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling dependent and useless and worthless and just bad. I know it can't be entirely true, but it hurts so much. Everyones leaving. I guess it doesn't matter. I want to stop my life for a moment. Please. I want the moodswings to stop. I want to feel better and like I have control... I don't. It's hopeless. I'm stupid. Sorry for being a waste of time, space, and energy.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
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Jul 21, 2007 at 07:18 PM
#2
Is there no way you can escape "life" for a bit (without self harming?) Do you have a hobby that "takes you away" or maybe going to the movies???? You deserve a break for yourself. It's ok. Try not to be so involved in all that is happening IRL, odds are most of it will go right on... and you can't control it all anyway?
((((canders))) Don't beat yourself up over all the stuff going on.... be gentle, you're doing ok 
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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Jul 21, 2007 at 07:22 PM
#3
All my hobbies are centred around having other people around. Stupid, I know. I just deal (and feel) better being around people.
No movies. Person I go to movies with is leaving. Nobody else is around. Stupid summer vacation means nobody is here. Boo. I have to be involved in my life... all the stuff I'm having problems with is "my stuff". Not other peoples for once. thanks (((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))) __________________
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Wise Elder
Member Since Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
19 76 hugs
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Jul 21, 2007 at 08:32 PM
#4
((((((((((((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. Please stay with us while you are feeling this way. Take care.
BB __________________  |
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 300
17 |
Jul 22, 2007 at 01:37 AM
#5
(((((((Canders))))))))
post more about how you're feeling if it helps to get it out... __________________ If you're going through hell, keep going.... (Churchill) |
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
18 194 hugs
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Jul 22, 2007 at 02:53 AM
#6
((((((((((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))))))
I wish so much that i could fully be there for you right now. I'm afraid i don't have much energy left to give either. Know that i'm thinkg about you though... 
__________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: up in a tree in the United States
Posts: 383
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Jul 22, 2007 at 05:37 AM
#7
(((((((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))))))))))))
i'm sorry you're feeling so rotten right now!!!! i love having you around!!! don't disappear!! you don't have to be supportive 'n stuff to be here....i want to hear about you and try to lend my support to you!!! take care of yourself
__________________ I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people. ~ Isaac Newton |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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Jul 22, 2007 at 06:41 AM
#8
Lovely (((((((((((((((Friends))))))))))))))))))))
thank you... I just slept for 9 hours and all I want to do is go back to bed. blah. Guess more talking to T tomorrow. He's not gonna like me. Then again, I never have liked me.... __________________
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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Jul 22, 2007 at 10:09 AM
#9
((((((((((((((( canders )))))))))))))))))
you and i are in similar places right now, hon. let's tread water till we get to shore with a solid ground to stand on. PM me if you need. Love, KD __________________ 
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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Jul 22, 2007 at 01:55 PM
#10
((((((((((((KD)))))))))))))))))
I don't know if I even have energy to tread water (then again, I never was good at swimming...  ). I feel like I'm very very very slowly drowning in my misery and problems. Thank you and sorry you're in the same spot
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,841
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Jul 23, 2007 at 05:07 PM
#11
HI Christina,
You can be here without supporting others. Hugs and love, EJ
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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Jul 23, 2007 at 05:07 PM
#12
Thanks ((((((((((EJ))))))))))))))
I'm trying
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Member
Member Since May 2007
Posts: 256
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Jul 23, 2007 at 05:56 PM
#13
I am sorry you are going through so much right now.
I use to sleep from midnight till 5p.m. every single day for about a year. I use to feel like a vampire.I agree it is very hard to stay awake, and live like a normal person. I just started to take a generic ritalin and I'm still tired, have no motivation to go out, or do anything..unless I have to. Well please take care and hope you feel better soon, Sending you a big HUG! 
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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Jul 23, 2007 at 11:04 PM
#14
thanks ((((((((((((sassypants)))))))))))))))))
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Jul 24, 2007 at 09:29 AM
#15
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,458
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Jul 24, 2007 at 12:01 PM
#16
(((((((((((((((( Christina )))))))))))))))))
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Jul 24, 2007 at 12:34 PM
#17
Sitting here
 of what to  to you  what would truly help, but I hope you make your way to the light so you can shake your  ................. Thinkin of ya........T-hugggs......... |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
(SuperPoster!)
18 2,039 hugs
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Jul 24, 2007 at 12:46 PM
#18
((((((((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))))) Lovely friend, thanks
((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))) Thanks my friend for the hug, always  ((((((((((((((Tucker))))))))))))))) It made me laugh a little bit to figure out your post ... cute Thanks
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: up in a tree in the United States
Posts: 383
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Jul 24, 2007 at 01:31 PM
#19
hi christina ~ just thinking about you!!!
hope you are feeling ok!! i'm not going to work this week....wanna come out 'n play?!  i'm here if you need me! __________________ I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people. ~ Isaac Newton |
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