[Hedgeleaf]

My depression is getting really bad recently

I've never had therapy so can't say for sure I'm depressed but I'm quite positive I am

I want help so bad but I'm just terrified I'll either get locked up somewhere or my daughter will be taken away from me

All I can think of is cutting myself which I haven't done for about a year. I have a voice just screaming inside my head. I've had a head ache for weeks and my body feels so tense that I ache all over. I think of killing myself a lot. All the ways I'd do it and when and where. But I can't leave my daughter, she would be the one who would find me too, she's only 6 and she needs me. I'd never do it because she keeps me going but I can't stop thinking about it.

I scared if I tell this to a therapist they'll think I'm some sort of danger to myself or that she's in Danger and social services will be called and she'll be taken away from me

I don't know what to do

[TishaBuv]

In America you can get prescribed anti-depressants from your general internist doctor. You just tell them you are depressed. You should try them. It will take a while to work and make you very tired at first.

Don't go through this all alone with no help at all. Keep thinking of your daughter.

[Hedgeleaf]

My dr is rubbish. There are 2 in the practice and both I just don't trust. Everytime I've been ill I've been made to wait and wait and wait to see if I get worse before being referred to anyone. One time I had a food allergy and was quite poorly with it and they fobbed me off. My previous dr at a different practice was brilliant but I've moved out of that area

[Skeezyks]

Hello Hedgeleaf: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. From what you wrote, it would be my opinion that you really need to reach out for help in some way, in real life. However, I also certainly understand your concerns.

I don't know what is available to you where you live. Is there a crisis hotline you could call? Are there any support groups you could join? Continuing to post here on PC can help too, of course. Perhaps you might consider going into some more detail with regard to what's going on with you. Simply writing about it may help. Please take care...

[TishaBuv]

If you asked him to write you a prescription for an anti depressant he wouldn't or couldn't? I don't know how things work in England.

[Hedgeleaf]

Thank you both for the replies

Tish- unfortunately my dr won't prescribe anything apart from a repeat prescription over the phone. I'd need to go in and see her. I'm too scared to even call up and ask because I don't want them to say no

[Nammu]

Unless you are actively hurting your daughter I wouldn't think they would take her away for getting help. Are there support groups in your area? Like parenting, depression, or for mood disorders?

[Nammu]

I think it's illegal for doctors to prescribe over the phone, they need to see the patient. If you don't go then the answer will be no, if you take a chance and go the answer could be no but it might be yes.

There's no reason they wouldn't prescribe an anti depressant that I can think of from what you've said. I live in the UK and work in healthcare. Please make an appointment, ask for a good one like citralopam, and it'll take a few weeks to get working. It's benzodiazepines that GPS don't like prescribing, the pills that make you sleep, because they're addictive. I got prescribed an anti depressant over the phone by a locum but I've been prescribed them before. You could try ringing out of hours. I felt like killing myself for a long time, and thought about it alsmot hourly. When, where, how. It was awful. When I started taking Prozac, I started feeling so much better. Prozac isn't for everyone because it's quite strong, but I'd had good results on it before. Please get something! You will feel so much better. NHS therapy is 6 sessions of IAPT so I pay privately to see a therapist once a week. That and my meds and G&T keep me going! Good luck.

[TishaBuv]

I've told lots of doctors that I have thoughts about suicide, but I would never really do it.

I'm on Cymbalta now, which was prescribed by my rhumatologist for arthritis pain, but it's an anti depressant. I think it really has saved me from experiencing the low lows.