[captaineo]

The lost of my wife and kids to divorce, has made me a broken man, two year since it all happened, yet trying not to have affect my work, but somehow it does, I think I have to try harder. But the harder I try the more vulnerable I feel, as I feel I don't deserve happiness and I am supposed to live for life in suffering. My background is complex and the situation is difficult, all I can say is that international marriages are hard specially from two different countries.
It's been radical punishment not being able to see my kids and this impacts my life.

So I ask my fellow tribe and crew of yet to become friend and already friends how can I fix my heart, am I allowed to live , am I allowed to be happy, and what should I do with people who like to abuse you when you are down?

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[handheart]

I am very sory for you as you are in a dificult situation you must have some patience as the will heal your time but you must also start to change your thinking because if you think all time at this bad situation you will get depresed more .Decide what you want to do with your life be powerful and change your way of thinking and change your life

[captaineo]

Thank you for your kindness and warm mail, words can be warm as well. I am trying to change my life, but sometimes is not easy, to feel like you have been betrayed by the person you have loved for 15 years. I am in a country not of my own but trying to make the best of it, just the culture is so different to mine.

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[dexter]

handheart has great advice. I don't know what the attitude and treatment options are in Japan for depression but if you can find help, the right therapist can help you with changing your thinking. Anything from general therapy to a targeted therapy like DBT or CBT that is designed to help you change your way of thinking.

But don't discount that this is a difficult situation, to be grieving this loss while trying to find your place in a country that is foreign to you. But you do deserve to feel better so I hope you can find some help or get some relief here.