[Crook32]

So my pdoc and T want me to go inpatient at a mood disorders unit to get a second opinion and to have the experts review my meds. I don't think I am doing that poorly but my T rated my mood a 3 out of 10. She said that it is because of my persistent low mood, suicidal ideation and cutting. She has also said she is afraid I will talk myself into killing myself at some point. My pdoc has said that he is worried I might need inpatient before I am able to get into this special program. I guess I am just so used to feeling this way that it feels normal to me. I just don't feel as bad as I did last year when I went inpatient 4 times. I have noticed though that since my last round of ECT that I am unable to focus enough to read a book or do logic puzzles or play certain kinds of games on the phone anymore. I think they are concerned about my lack of focus and concentration too. I am currently trying to write my yearly review for work but have no memory from the first 6 months of the year because of the ECT.


I don't know maybe if you put all the pieces together I should do this program. I just feel like I can't judge my moods anymore. My T and pdoc agree on what needs to happen next but I am just not recognizing the symptoms. Anyone else ever feel this way?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Crook32

I guess I am just so used to feeling this way that it feels normal to me.

I think that describes me, too.

Originally Posted by Crook32

I have noticed though that since my last round of ECT that I am unable to focus enough to read a book or do logic puzzles or play certain kinds of games on the phone anymore.

My powers of sustained focus are already weak. What you describe here would deeply frustrate and trouble me.

[Fizzyo]

I'm sorry you have got used to feeling so bad.

My policy for myself is often to take what is offered if there is a chance it will help me.

I hope you can stay at home till you get the specialist help they seem to think you need.

Sending warm wishes and hugs.