[SunshineGold03]

eZine article: June, 2004

written by Guest Author Chris Green
.................................................................
Depression: Out of the Fog and Into the Light
chapter 1

Hi there! I'm Chris Green and I'm absolutely delighted to be contributing to "Touching Half The World". I look forward to sharing some very powerful information with you over the coming months.

Information which enabled me to transform my life after five very painful years of anxiety-induced depression.

Depression. It's a powerful word that conjures up all kinds of images and prejudices in our minds. A depressed person is someone who cannot cope with life. A person who is so deeply unhappy, he or she can find no joy in anything life has to offer, and of course, who has absolutely no self-esteem, no confidence and no self-respect.
but how can this happen to someone?

Let's concentrate on how depression affects the way we value the self. Of all of the destructive patterns of behaviour a depressed person enters into, the way a depressed person talks to the self is the fuel that maintains the depression.
chapter 2

I have experienced depression from two sides. For five years, a series of traumatic events triggered a personal nightmare I believed would never end. One of these events came when my lover was diagnosed with depression. At this time, I too had entered into the spiral of anxiety-induced depression. Both of these experiences have given me an insight into how sufferers destroy any value of the self.

Let me give a couple of examples.

* With my partner, if I'd arranged an evening out with friends, she'd say:

"No, I won't come, you go without me. I never have anything interesting to say. I just bore people. They'll find me an effort to be with. I'll stay here."

* If I made a mistake, I'd say to myself:

"I'm useless. I'm no good at anything. Everything I do I get wrong."

This self-deprecation then spreads into other areas of life. You begin to criticise the way you look, the decisions you make or don't make, and you focus solely on the downside of life. Each time a little bit of self-worth, a little bit of self-respect and a little bit of self-confidence are eroded. Eventually, they are lost completely. When I reached my lowest point, having lost everything and everyone I loved, I'd say to myself:

"If I died tomorrow, no one would know and no one would care."
so, how did I come out of the fog?

Well, the reason I thought I'd become depressed was because of a series of traumatic events occurring at the same time. I was wrong. The root cause of my depression lay in the ways I reacted to them. One of the ways I'd reacted was to blame myself for events I couldn't control. The more I blamed myself, the more I beat myself up. The more I beat myself up, the more my self-esteem decreased.

The words I have used to briefly illustrate self-deprecating phrases we continually use against the self are mild. I'm sure you realise that many people use much stronger phrases than I've given here. The point is that these phrases would be totally unacceptable to say to others. You wouldn't tell other people that they were boring, an effort to be with, that everyone found their company dull, or that it would be better for everyone else if they kept themselves to themselves!

Agreed?

Yet, if I say to people:

"Pay yourself compliments. Accentuate your good in all areas of your life. Write down your good points, your triumphs, your achievements. Remind yourself as often as possible about all the good you have done."

They look at me like I'm an alien and say they'd feel stupid. Or uncomfortable. Or even embarrassed.

Yet they don't feel any of these emotions when they talk to themselves using emotionally charged, self-deprecating phrases! And like rust upon metal, these phrases gradually erode our self-esteem and our confidence.
OK, here's the bottom-line

I will be sharing a lot of empowering knowledge with you over the coming months, but for this month, I'd like you to inscribe what you are about to read into your mind over and over again until it is permanently etched there:

It is NEVER acceptable to talk to myself in a way I know is inappropriate and even offensive if I spoke in the same way to others.

I'd like to end my first contribution to "Touching Half The World" with something I say to myself every single day without fail.

"If you put yourself down, down is where you will stay."

Much more next time.
Warm regards,

Chris


Jenn

[Rapunzel]

That is really good, Jenn. Why is it that we give compliments and encouragement to other people, and wouldn't think of putting them down, but are just the opposite in our treatment of ourselves? Something doesn't add up when we do that.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>

[(JD)]

Quite interesting (and long!) I cannot fathom all of it in one reading.

I will dwell upon the line about never talking to myself in a way I wouldn't dream of talking to another...

Thanks.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SunshineGold03]

I am glad you guys liked it.

Jenn

[Beautiful_Pain]

Thanks for sharing it Jenn...I really need to hear something like that today



<font color=purple>Pain can indeed be a beautiful thing</font color=purple>