[Anonymous37919]

I was in supported accommodation before, but a legal matter involving the staff later cost me my home. Anyway, I've been with my parents for most of my life, and I had my flat for 3 years, from April of 2011 until the summer of 2014. This was the only time I did not reside with my family, and I am 30 years of age now.

Besides my parents, I stay with my sister. She has a place of her own, but she has not been there in ages because she lost her children through a court matter, so she's been with us too. My niece also occasionally stays over to go to school. My sister just got a big Husky dog from somebody, and that is okay.

I think my parents' house is very stuffy, overcrowded, and cluttered. The house looks generally untidy, and as a result of the messiness, it kind of has an ugliness about it. All of my things are crammed into the one room, which makes it feel more like a warehouse than a bedroom. It's suffocating, but it's very hard to mange it.

Apart from that, penthouse flats are being built across the road so workmen start sawing early during the week, and I often go to bed into the early hours as I just cannot get to sleep. I just find life there is uneventful too, since I don't really do anything with my life due to anxiety. It is time I had my own space, but there is a problem...

I went to the council yesterday, hoping I could find a new home quicker. You bid on houses using a points system, but this man explained that I am not anywhere near the offers stage, and even if I registered as being homeless (which I'm not) and I kept bidding, it may still take up to a year before I may get a property. Private houses cost more and my benefits would not cover the rent.

So, does my situation just suck or what?

[Frankbtl]

Hi Peter A

I'm guessing it must have been a big blow to you in some ways, having to move back into your parents/losing your home, I'm sorry
And it does sound like it may feel pretty overwhelming at times with your parents, niece, sister and the dog there along with the "ugliness" of the clutter?? I have seen your name in the autism forum so maybe that has an impact on how you're experiencing your current situation in those respects??
But you mentioned being in supported accomodation before...........could maybe you or your parents push Social Services to find you a support provider who can support you in finding a private tenancy somewhere?? That's if you haven't tried that already!!
For now though could it be aspects of your living situation or just a general feeling that relates to the depression??
Just wondering whether you could find some coping skills e.g. grounding exercises or distractions if it's aspects of your living situation triggering and worsening the feelings inc. of anxiety??

Just some thoughts............



Alison

[Anonymous37919]

Nah. Not really. Private houses are more expensive. This is why it has to be a council property, but bidding at this rate will take me years.

I'm in a similar situation and feel your pain. I had to move back with my parents after my relationship broke down. Was meant to be temporary but more than two years later I'm still here. And while I'm grateful to have a roof over my head I hate it here, need my independence back.

I'm trying to sort out council housing too. My mental health team are meant to be helping to push me further up the list but I think they have forgotten and it's impossible lately to get hold of them so I'm just kind of stuck. I can't afford to go privately so this is my only way out, I just wish the people who are meant to help wouldn't be so useless.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Peter A

You're right, houses are going to be real expensive privately rented. But from your history of supported living I'm thinking that you'd be entitled to housing benefits if you did find somewhere privately rented, which would probably need to be more like a flat.........and maybe if the housing benefit didn't quite cover the rent there would be a possibility of you being able to top the rent up from other benefits.........
Depending on what benefits you'd be entitled to if you moved it may be possible if you could find the right place.
Worth checking out your options.........

Alison

[missbelle]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

I'm in a similar situation and feel your pain. I had to move back with my parents after my relationship broke down. Was meant to be temporary but more than two years later I'm still here. And while I'm grateful to have a roof over my head I hate it here, need my independence back.

I'm trying to sort out council housing too. My mental health team are meant to be helping to push me further up the list but I think they have forgotten and it's impossible lately to get hold of them so I'm just kind of stuck. I can't afford to go privately so this is my only way out, I just wish the people who are meant to help wouldn't be so useless.

Sometimes you just cannot win. I have lived alone for 13 years after a relationship breakup. It is difficult to always be alone too. Sometimes I would just love a family and some excitement here at home. It can get very lonely. I am older with grown kids and grandkids and this is not fun either. Best of luck to you, but it is not always greener on the other side!!!

[Anonymous37919]

I would not take supported accommodation again even if I could. That ship has sailed. You're better off not living in a flat that others can control, because if it shouldn't work out, you either get tossed out or end up wanting to leave anyway. You can still be tossed out of any flat you don't directly own if you do something against the rules, but you have to watch for places where others call the shots.

Unfortunately, I live in the capital city of Scotland, so it's a very popular place to live, and you have to do a lot of waiting. I've an older sister who lost her house because her employees were late in paying her wages, which built-up arrears with her landlord, and she had bid for years to get somewhere else even while she still had a home. She now has to stay in temporary housing with my niece for maybe 18 months, because the chances of one getting a flat with no job is slim to null.

In my case, I got into trouble for developing feelings for a few of the female staff who worked next door to me, but I could not help it. Although the staff in general were a mixed bag. One guy sent me emails years ago under a nickname to bully me, and then he admitted it was him. Of course, that's just one guy, so it isn't like they are all bad people. After so many years, it just ran its course. They're not your friends. Anything they do, they're paid to do it. Half of them are untrustworthy. Even the nice ones leave eventually.

Maybe I'd like to still have support workers come over, but you know? I can have it where it's my flat, and they just come to see me, take me out, help clean my house, or whatever. I'm quite capable of managing my bills, so they could still benefit me in other ways.

I'm only mildly autistic, or I have something like autism called PDD-NOS. So it's not even a formal diagnosis. So that just confuses things.

But, yeah. Be careful where you move to. You can go from the fat into the fire. And actually, I like that saying. It sounds funny, but it's also true.