[maddnessreturns]

I have what may seem like an odd question. But I'm coming to the point of wondering what is reasonable to expect or want to find in a significant other when it comes to dealing with my mental health?

For me I suffer from depression and anxiety. And I fell into a deep hole of depression recently and am digging myself out. However during my bad days my S.O. wouldnt really talk to me because he said I bring him down also, offered no comfort of even just being there like being close, no checking on me. It felt like if I'm doing good then I'm wanted if I'm doing bad then I'm on my own. He even asked "How often do you get like this?" It's like I can't give you days on a calendar or predict it. I can't cure it. If there is an off switch please tell me.

So what is reasonable to expect from significant others during the rough times?

[Skeezyks]

Hello maddnessreturns: To be honest, I don't know. The bottom line, from my perspective, is one cannot expect anything. You simply get what you get.

My personal experience has been that people who don't struggle with mental health issues don't want to know anything about it & will avoid becoming involved with it to the greatest extent possible. As a result, it falls to those of us who do struggle with mental health issues to find a way to not push family members & friends, etc. beyond their tolerance level. And if we cannot, or will not, do that then we risk losing them because they won't put up with it forever. Some won't even put up with it for very long.

I don't know how long you & your S.O. have been together. If he's asking you "how often you get like this" perhaps not that long. Unfortunately this may be a harbinger of things to come & something you're going to need to consider as you contemplate your future with this person.

I'm sorry to be so negative about this. But again from my perspective... we're pretty-much just on our own. It's a large part of why many of us are here on PC.

[maddnessreturns]

Oh no I'm like this seems like a no go in the long run but I'm just worried I guess I expect to much from people maybe?

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by maddnessreturns

Oh no I'm like this seems like a no go in the long run but I'm just worried I guess I expect to much from people maybe?

The only time I tell people to lower their expectations is when it is an actual issue that needs addressing. I'd have to get to know more, but from what I do, I don't think that's your problem.

And I agree with what Skeezyks said above.