[gonegirl99]

I am trying my best not to go to a shelter because I've heard shelters aren't good places to be. But I also have no friends to rely on. So far, the golden child of the family is really pushing my buttons and starting stuff. When I'm around people that can do no wrong, it makes me feel like I can't endure this anymore. All I'm trying to do is go to work, come "home", save money, and put on my headphones. But dealing with my moronic sibling is really pushing me over the edge. People really don't understand how big headed this ***** is.

And it's driving me insane that no one has told me the answer to how to deal with people like this. How do I deal with narcissistic idiots without stooping to their level?? How do I not let them get to me so I can save enough to get my own place? How do I survive??

For anyone that's successfully survived psychotic relatives, how did u do it and keep your cool?

[Rohag]

I'm sorry you are facing this situation. Here are a few techniques that might help you.

Short-Term Techniques for Dealing with a Difficult Person
Adapted from information in Ch. 4 of Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd Edition, 2008 by Nina Brown.

Limit your interactions with the individual as much as possible.
Attempt to interact with the individual in public places or other places where observers are present.
If self-affirmations work for you, use them.
Use self-talk in an attempt to discern what is real and what is fantasy.
Listen to yourself with acceptance; acknowledge your feelings and their intensity.
Avoid revealing or acting on the feelings; your true feelings, revealed either directly or indirectly, may become psychological weapons in the hands of your abuser.
If possible, momentarily dissociate from intense feelings.

Employ protective non-verbal behaviors:

“Avoid eye contact, especially sustained eye contact.
Angle your body slightly or completely away from the [person].
If forced to look at the [person], focus on his ear, his chin, or the middle of his forehead.
Put some physical object between you and him. For example, turn a chair around so that the back faces the [person], or look at him over the top of some reading glasses.
Adopt a relaxed body position. For instance, when seated, have your feet flat on the floor and arms and hands in an open position, and try to keep your breathing deep and even.
Think about something pleasant or zone out.
Keep a neutral or pleasant facial expression, but don't grin (or frown).” (p. 95)

“These behaviors are counterproductive for building relationships, showing interest, and communicating caring and concern, so they can effectively protect you from [the person's] efforts to engage you.” (p. 95) Don't be sullen, sulk, or mumble (adolescent behavior). Don't anger the [person] – that gets them to focus on you more; goal is to tolerate the momentary situation.

[MtnTime2896]

I truly don't know how I survived my experience. I mostly ignored him, but Rohag makes a lot of sense. I'd say try some of those techniques out.

[Rainstoppedplay]

"The Gray Rock method of dealing with psychopaths"
This method might be helpful.

Keep your mind on your goal: To save enough money to escape.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

I'm sorry you are facing this situation. Here are a few techniques that might help you.

Short-Term Techniques for Dealing with a Difficult Person
Adapted from information in Ch. 4 of Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd Edition, 2008 by Nina Brown.

Limit your interactions with the individual as much as possible.
Attempt to interact with the individual in public places or other places where observers are present.
If self-affirmations work for you, use them.
Use self-talk in an attempt to discern what is real and what is fantasy.
Listen to yourself with acceptance; acknowledge your feelings and their intensity.
Avoid revealing or acting on the feelings; your true feelings, revealed either directly or indirectly, may become psychological weapons in the hands of your abuser.
If possible, momentarily dissociate from intense feelings.

Employ protective non-verbal behaviors:

“Avoid eye contact, especially sustained eye contact.
Angle your body slightly or completely away from the [person].
If forced to look at the [person], focus on his ear, his chin, or the middle of his forehead.
Put some physical object between you and him. For example, turn a chair around so that the back faces the [person], or look at him over the top of some reading glasses.
Adopt a relaxed body position. For instance, when seated, have your feet flat on the floor and arms and hands in an open position, and try to keep your breathing deep and even.
Think about something pleasant or zone out.
Keep a neutral or pleasant facial expression, but don't grin (or frown).” (p. 95)

“These behaviors are counterproductive for building relationships, showing interest, and communicating caring and concern, so they can effectively protect you from [the person's] efforts to engage you.” (p. 95) Don't be sullen, sulk, or mumble (adolescent behavior). Don't anger the [person] – that gets them to focus on you more; goal is to tolerate the momentary situation.