[likegreenlover]

Long story short my ex and i had been together nearly 4 years. We had a very very attached loving relationship, we were each others best friends. A month or two ago started hanging out with friends from work more and more often. He's newly 21 and i'm 19. Our whole relationship he never really had friends and his mother told me he just wasn't the type of guy to ever really have them. I've always had friends and regularly spent time with them during our relationship. . I was happy he was seeing friends and getting out without me. I started to notice that when he'd go out with these friends he would drink excessively. I finally expressed my concerns to him and he told me that he was just experiencing being 21 and having fun. The drinking became more and more regular and his parents started noticing it too. My mother had a talk with jim about it as did his. As assured everyone that it was just new to him. About three weeks ago he was supposed to hangout with me after work. He kept saying he was working late and that he didn't know if he'd see me that night. Something told me he was lying and after tracking his phone i found out he was actually at a friends house drinking. I told his mother and she was very upset and concerned about him as she believes this whole drinking thing is becoming a problem too. That night i was very upset and told him i was done with his lies and drinking. Two days later i tried to talk to him but for one whole week he wouldn't return any of my calls or texts . Now keep in mind that any time before this we would "break up" it would only last a day at most and he'd call me crying saying he missed and needed me. So after a week of no contact i was so upset and confused. He finally called me on a monday night and told me that we couldn't be together anymore. He said we're two different people and are holding eachother back. He cried and told me he'll always love me and was so sorry. He then asked that i no longer contact him. I was devastated. His mother asked me to come over and told me she had noticed that for the week we didn't talk he went out drinking every single night. She said since the fight that saturday night she hadn't talked to him because she was so upset that he could just do this to me and about his excessive drinking. It's now been two weeks since the fight and one weekvsinde the break up. I'm very very confused and feel that i'm left without closure . My mother who has seen our whole relationship says he's caught up in drinking and that he'll come to his senses. I am so emotional and i think i'm depressed. Parts of me tell myself he's the same person and i know how much he loved me and that once he stops drinking he'll come back. Other parts tell me he really is gone . I can't eat and i go to sleep at 6PM every night . i don't get how he can go from being in contact with me every second of every day for almost four years and making plans to go on vacation for our anniversary to all the sudden broken up with me and asked for no contact. I am so confused and i dovwant closure but i tell myself that i won't help because either way we're over. It's just so hard to go from being so close to someone', making life plans together , talking constantly , being in love, to all of the sudden he's gone and i can't even contact him. I'm so confused and it's affecting my work performance .

[Fizzyo]

Hi lightgreenlover,

I'm sorry you're so very sad after your break up. It's the hardest time.

You have probably been told so often that it will get easier as time passes etc etc.......

I just want to send the biggest hug as you go through this horrible time.

It feels like it's forever, but grief is like that. You will get through this and you will look back on it a more mature and wiser person. I wish I could reach in and take some of the pain away!
It will work out one way or another and there will be life after grief. Hang on in there, you're worth it!

[Fizzyo]

Thinking of you.