[Mysterious_Lion]

Half way of 2015 I was told I was bipolar, start of this year started treatment for it with epilim low dose one thing I noticed I had less headaches and less anger.
When they put me on prozac and pump up the dose of epilim it made my anxiety go through the roof and I had go back again they took me off prozac and still my anxiety was just the worse that it was effecting my ability at work to function at all and they sent me home alot due to it so had to go back doc sent me again to a psychologist and he thinks I just have Anxiety and depression not many meds can help me due to how side effects seem to bother me more any anti depressants I was given my anxiety goes through the roof except with zoloft it made me angry all the time for no reason and even with suicidal idealized thoughts. So the doc leaving me off the meds I agree with it.

Epilim made me over weight I feel like **** for it I think I feel down the most thought my interests have peaked at video games after months not caring about my computer or anything. One thing I noticed I still hate my job and it's my only sense of financial support for bills and not much jobs going in my area, I wanted to try uni this year I quot after 3 weeks cause I just didn't like it. I have no motivation for academic learning I hate it! I want to care but can't just no more motivation for it, most of my friends have degrees and left the area to do something great and my partner had one his doing well and me I feel so unhappy (unsure the term to put it) with everything still I think games just help me escape life for a bit, at work I think about suicide alot I don't go through with it but the thoughts are there, feel already too late for change I feel too dam dumb for anything I want to care I do but I feel I can't as well, I look at everyone at work they seem so more adjusted and focused with life I always ask myself "why can't I be that person?" I can fake a smile say I am fine but I know deep down I am just empty and numb. Work for money to survive but some part me hates it cause I see people greed over money I hate it, what type dumb person like me hates money.

I noticed I can keep relationship well but friendship unsure cause I am mainly that person everyone comes to when they are bored or need something from me otherwise no talk to me for months.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Try not to compare yourself with other people.. it will only make it worse and besides, you can't know how they're really feeling.

Be strong! You can do it!

[Skeezyks]

Hello Mysterious_Lion: I'm sorry you are struggling. I'd simply like to send some positive energy your way with the hope that you might be able to find deep peace within.

[Fizzyo]

Sending hopeful thoughts and hope a sense of them reaches you.