[jman197]

I am stressed the hell out right now. I tried to talk to a friend about my feelings. I talked to him about how my family usually jumps ship when things get rough. I talked to him about how I always wait for the next shoe to drop. About how I have to try so hard to do good because it doesn't come naturally to me even though I have good in my heart. I talked about how I always am waiting for people to abandon me because that's what always happens. I even talked about my friend Pedro, how I blame myself for his being in prison. He gave me good advice but as always I ended up wanting to hurt myself because my mind keeps going on and on about all the stress in my life. It doesn't help that it is close to Christmas, one of the two absolute worst times of the year for me. I had plans to hang out with a friend but something that happened to him a few weeks ago is hitting him really hard. So most likely I will be spending Christmas alone. That sends my depression soaring. Why can't I just be happy.

(((((hugs))))))

[gayleggg]

I don't know why it's so hard for some of us to just be happy, but especially around Christmas time it's hard on us. I wish that I had wise words that would make things better but I don't. I hope you can find someone to be with during the holidays as I know it's hard.

[Fizzyo]