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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,404
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Jan 06, 2017 at 10:48 AM
#1
I'll be honest, I've been hurt by so many people (and sometimes it was partly my fault, when I'm bitten I didn't just walk away with my tail between my legs like I did when I was little..)
So I don't give many people much of a chance to get to know me, irl or even on here apart from on the boards.. I've been hurt so many times I stay in my cave...  Is it even worth trying to change this ....... (Not about anyone here) __________________ 
Last edited by Fuzzybear; Jan 06, 2017 at 11:34 AM.. |
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 Anonymous49071, guiltier65, MatBell, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896, Skeezyks, Yours_Truly
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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Jan 06, 2017 at 11:02 AM
#2
Past experience can truly change who you are.. I'm sorry you've been hurt. Hope you'll be able to trust people again as time goes on - there ARE people who are worth it.
 
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 Fuzzybear
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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Jan 06, 2017 at 02:07 PM
#3
Only if you genuinely want to... not because you think you should, or because someone else thinks you should. My personal experience has been that this simply never changes. I no longer care to try. I just keep to myself. 
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,404
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Jan 08, 2017 at 10:14 AM
#4
 This bear looks like me  __________________
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Magnate
Member Since May 2013
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Jan 08, 2017 at 11:59 AM
#5
Hi Fuzzy
I'd say that it's very worth it if you give the right people a chance to know you And I know that's got to be real tough for you, but it doesn't have to be about completely surrendering all your reservations about trust, not at all!! But maybe try to push those boundaries just a little more with some people, allow them in just a little more?? And you know, it doesn't need to even start much that way, you could maybe encourage them to let on a bit more about themselves, their feelings, who they really are to help you get a bit more of a feeling of if they are the right person........... And then in your own time Fuzzy..........push those boundaries but only as far as you feel comfortable enough to.......... And hey, I'm not sure if you realize some of the strength that's coming across so clearly to me in: "when I'm bitten I didn't just walk away with my tail between my legs like I did when I was little.."!!!! You had no choice when you were little, but wow have you struck back!!!! VERY impressive after all you've been through!!! And I've really got to admire the tremendous strength there Fuzzy!!!!! Alison |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,404
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Jan 08, 2017 at 02:04 PM
#6
 Quote:
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Frankbtl
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Jan 09, 2017 at 10:24 AM
#7
You seem like a nice person Fuzzy. I can understand why you don't let people get close. I have been hurt EVERY time I let tangible people get close. I don't know if I even care about letting tangible people get close anymore. It isn't worth being hurt anymore. Ultimately, you will have to decide if you want to let people in. You have been nice to me, a rare thing to happen to me, and I think you deserve to have good things happen.
__________________ I've been to Hell and back so many times, I have afrequent flier mileage program. |
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,404
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
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Jan 09, 2017 at 10:32 AM
#8
Quote:
Thanks RJ  It really sucks how even my half brothers abandoned me  . I don't often talk about this on here, or if I do, I don't remember...I'm sure the step ***** who hated me and blamed me for "ruining mothers life" poisoned their minds against me. I didn't get to know them that well anyway....I suppose they needed to be "protected" and not to know the truth that the father had another child 10 years older than them. So in a sense the sadistic therapist (irl) was right - "always alone" But I do have papa bear, I wonder if this jerk was simply trying to wind me up, or was just incompetent. I know I've talked about this person before... if we can't trust therapists, who can we trust? Growl. I didn't trust enough and yet I trusted too much... some of the stuff I told him was none of his freakin business... I wish I could forget the callous tone of his voice as well as his cruel words.. he labelled me "avoidant" but forgot the complex ptsd, to which he contributed,... Sorry for the rant __________________
Last edited by Fuzzybear; Jan 09, 2017 at 10:49 AM.. |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Michigan
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Jan 09, 2017 at 11:31 AM
#9
It isn't right the counselor did that. If I were you, I'd report him to your state medical board. To right the wrong he did to you and to stop him from hurting others. As far as your step parent, that is not right either. I wish there was something to say to make it better, but sadly there isn't. If your papa bear is good to you, look to him. Having someone, is a rare gift. It has always been a dream of mine to matter to someone, but I don't think I'll have it. So, perhaps if you open more to him, it may make you feel better.
__________________ I've been to Hell and back so many times, I have afrequent flier mileage program. |
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