[RJ42]

I guess I am back to posting. I have no social life. It is difficult to do so when you don't see the point of leaving home unless necessary. Everyone I've talked to on hear is nice. I just don't understand why people in public, where I am, can't be. Having PTSD on top of depression doesn't help because I get anxious and irritable around more than 2-3 people.
I am still trying to understand that it is not my fault I cannot be loved and accepted. It is the only thing I've ever wanted. It may sound odd, but I blame myself for not being more appealing to feminine eyes. I feel I have all the qualities that I see and hear ladies saying they want. I know some physical attraction is needed, but why does it have to be the biggest requirement? I can be smart, honest, kind, caring, and faithful till I'm blue in the face, but it hasn't done me any good. I won't change the qualities I have, but I wish my book had a better cover.

[MommaD]

Rj42 good to see you post again!
So, here's something I want to throw out and get your response to. Feel free to tell me I'm loopy or I need to mind my own business or whatever.
My daughter and I just finished a Say Yes to the Dress marathon. It's a silly show about women going to NYC to find the perfect wedding gown. And they always show a picture of the girls fiancé. I can't tell you how many times we've seen really pretty women with men who are "out of their league" so to speak and every time the girl says she's marrying him because "he's the kindest person I've ever met", "he makes me laugh", "he just makes me feel special". Now granted, this is a stupid tv show, but there might be a kernel of truth there? So I have to ask: what if it's not you? What if it's the women you're hanging with? Maybe you need to get to know a different caliber of woman--ones that value the things you do?
Again, just a thought and feel free to tell me MYOB!

[RJ42]

You are not wrong. I don't even bother talking to them around where I live anymore. Believe me, if I could move and start somewhere new, I would. I've been to a lot of places, but the cruelty where I live is in the top five of my list.

[MickeyCheeky]

I know how you feel. I wish I could be more helpful.. we're here when you want to talk.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm just a bear.. wish I could help more

[guiltier65]

I have been married forever, so I don't know that I can offer much help. But I am more than willing to reach out here and be a friend. I tend to isolate and have little desire for a social life, but I'm trying.

[RJ42]

Thank you Mickey, Fuzzy, and guiltier. I appreciate everyone taking time to respond. I guess solitude and loneliness are the punishments/curse/reward for trying to do the right thing.

[Fuzzybear]

Smart, honest, kind, caring, faithful.. these are some of the main qualities people look for in a partner as well as a friend..
(Also of course not everyone is particularly smart but most of those find a partner)

I wonder if, like me, past hurts have changed who you are (not in a negative sense, just in a self protective sense)..

I lived in a pretty mean neighbourhood soon after getting married (and before)

There are good people out there, loyal people (I've found a few of them)

[MommaD]

Ive found a few of them (good people) right here.
Easy to say, hard to do, but don't give up RJ42.

[RJ42]

I don't quit but things look pretty hopeless at this point and time. I guess it's because I've lost everything I've fought for and have had so little good. It might sound like exaggeration, but it's true.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by MommaD

Ive found a few of them (good people) right here.
Easy to say, hard to do, but don't give up RJ42.

I have too