[lilypup]

I know you can't make anyone do anything but....
My 22 YO son is depressed. He agrees, his friends agree, we (his parents) agree, his psychiatrist and therapist all agree. So I think it is safe to say he is depressed.
He is going to college, working one day a week, and doing DJ work every week or so. Everyone thinks he'd be so much better off on meds. His psychiatrist wants to start him on a dose of Lexapro.
He doesn't want to take anything that isn't natural.
He does irritate me because he won't exercise or do the other "natural" things that can help depression. I think those things would at least improve his outlook.
I have bipolar 2 and my daughter does also. So he is familiar with mental health issues and people being on meds.
It's his life, but he lives with us and it affects us all.
Any suggestions?
Thanks a lot.

[MommaD]

Hi Lillypup, it's always hard dealing with an adult child who needs help. The fact that he's working and going to school sounds like he's pretty high functioning so it may be that you've caught his issue early.
I guess you have two routes:
1) tough love--if his living at home or you are financially supporting him, you can make medication and seeing a therapist a requirement for continued support. That's so hard--it tears you up, it may damage your relationship for a very long time, and you have to be prepared to follow through and actually cut him off. Hard on him and you. If he were having more issues and really struggling with day to day living, or if you feared he was suicidal, it might be easier to take this path. It's up to you on whether the positives outweigh the negatives
2) Gentle love--is ghete someone whose opinion he respects that he might listen to if they spoke to him about taking meds? Maybe try that approach? If not, is he willing to try more "natural" approaches like SAM E, high dose vitamin D, talk therapy with a therapist? Fischer Wallace also makes For Use at home device that runs a very mild current (generated by a little battery so it's hardly anything at all) through a headband you wear for 20 minutes 2/day that has some research showing it does help with depression, anxiety and insomnia. Might he be willing to try something like this?
Again, only you can decide how hard you want to push your son. Whatever you decide, I'm sending thoughts of peace of mind and strength your way. I've been in your shoes and it was hard. But it was harder to watch my daughter suffer

[lilypup]

Thanks for your help, Momma. It is greatly appreciated.

[Fizzyo]

It is so hard when an adult child (or friend) chooses an unwise choice, whatever it is.

I like what Momma says. Sometimes all you can do is to be there when they see sense and help them pick up the pieces.

Watching them suffer more than they needed to is heartbreaking.

I hope you're taking care of yourself too. You will need it for the long haul.

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it

I'm more of a tough love sort of parent. I agree with a statement above that stresses that you as the responsibile parent can require he be medication compliant as part of his residing at home. If he were paying rent I believe the situation would be different. But, if he weren't it is a case of my-house-my-rules.