[ChipsAhoy]

September 10. 2007

(sorry for the date on the top. i like to write down the date so i can be sure that time is still moving forward and that this semester will not last forever)

It is hard to go to school when I am facing so many emotional problems. I am going to have a hard time passing some of these classes this semester. Right now I am having a really hard time keeping up with all of the work. I have a meeting with my Doctor on Thursday and hopefully she will be able to prescribe me a medication so that I can make it through the semester and pass the courses. I find it very hard to make myself do the work for these classes (especially History and English, because they are my least favorite classes. i find that it goes a little easier in classes like trigonometry and chemistry, because that is what i am interested in and that is what i plan in major in when i transfer to a four year university. sometimes it feels like there are so many more important things that i should be doing besides schoolwork. it is only the beginning of the semester, but i am already falling behind in some of the classes. i met a new person at my job yesterday named Nick. he goes to the same school that I do. he is in sociology and English 1108. i think that things are going a lot better than i think they are, because i tend to overreact sometimes and i have a pessimistic view of the world and of myself. hopefully as the months continue on and the days get darker and the snow starts to come down here in Minneapolis i will be able to settle down and not take so many of my Lorazepam that i use to fight the stress of these classes. I am hoping that I am able to pass these classes and move on next semester, because I will be able to take calculus, and I am thinking that is going to be a pretty fun class for me as math is my favorite subject. i hope that i do not fall apart sometime during the fall and end up in a psych ward like i did two years ago. what are the kinds of coping mechanisms that you used when you were back in school to help deal with all of the stress that comes from the classes and the instructors and the campus and the other students.

i have been under a lot of stress lately and i am having a hard time coping. i read about this kind of stuff in a psychology book. all of the stress is about passing the classes this semester and finally graduating from high school. sometimes i feel that i put way too much pressure on myself and that i need everything to be perfect. i need to let go a little bit and tell myself that it is okay to make mistakes in school and that if i don't graduate from high school on time it is not necessarily a big deal. hopefully i will eventually begin to overcome the early semester stresses and i will be able to get my %#@&#! together and start working hard. math is the only class that i like. i also like going to history class because the instructor their is very interesting.

i need to see my psychiatrist because sometimes i feel that i take too much Lorazepam to cope with the stress of school and I I heard that it can be addictive. she said that she is going to prescribe me some medication called Effexor XR that should help with some of the depression that i have been experiencing. she also said that it can have a positive impact on anxiety and will be able to calm me down and bring me to a more neutral state, instead of the neurotic state that i have been in lately with all of this stress. it is possible that i should also consider getting a good therapist. would you recommend that? i was in therapy with a guy named call for one year but he had to retire on me in early July and I have not had another therapist yet. I think that therapy would help me now because I find that therapists usually have pretty sound advice about what to do when you are dealing with a lot of stress (and possibly depression and anxiety). last week i thought things were going better but as soon as these week started ( it is only Monday as I am writing this message) i have been very stressed. I think the real issue here is trying to find a balance between my mental health and academic progress.

i am sorry if that post did not make a whole lot sense. i am trying to make sense of what is going on now myself. i find that it helps to get some of my thoughts down on paper (or the computer screen) so i can read them and try to find ways to help myself. i have to back to the community college soon because i have chemistry lecture and trigonometry.

i am also sorry if this post is not in the correct section. i am not familiar with this site. Please move it to the correct section.

Take care now,
Paul

[mollydaisy]

I read your post and wanted to offer this website to you. It sounds to me like you are doing your best coping with the stresses of school and life. Good for you that school is so important, but maybe you need to slow down a little and not take such a full load, I remember how overwhelming that could feel. There is some interesting information in the article I attached. Good Luck.

www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/1999/32_dec08/pressure.html