Not taking care of myself.

I seem to be sliding down into self-neglect. This is odd because I don't really feel blue. I am having the hardest time making myself brush my teeth. I badly need a haircut. I go out and run errands, looking pretty unkempt. I don't have my usual good appetite and have lost about 5 pounds in the last month or so.

There's nothing medical wrong with me. I see my doctor regularly. (I have chronic aches and pains, which Vicodin eases up effectively.)

Most of the time, I don't feel depressed, especially. I just feel apathetic. I'm wearing the same clothes day after day. I've been showering pretty well, every few days. Brushing my teeth is very hard.

I am busy everyday as caretaker to my chronically disabled boyfriend. I have help. It's not that hard. He's usually nice enough to me.

If I could just go get a haircut tomorrow, I think that would help a lot.

It seems like the main thing I look forward to is how good I feel for a few hours after taking a pain pill. And I have one glass of wine with supper in the evening, which makes me feel better for a while.

I have a mountain of unopened mail. I will lose an important benefit, if I don't get paperwork done soon. I'm neglecting myself and my affairs, and it feels like it doesn't matter.

you don't have to be depressed not to take care of yourself properly.

their have been plenty of times where i've seriously wondered... what is the point?

you know, times where i've thought.. do I like myself?, no. do I care what others think of me?. no.

it's my body, I can look how I want.

I related to the haircut thing. it has been ages since i've got myself a haircut (ages and ages)

((((hugs)))))

I agree with shattered. Depression and anxiety can cause a person to lose interest and motivation while you don't necessarily feel "down" at the same time. I have been in the same situation of feeling apathetic about taking care of regular tasks and chores. I often wait until the need to do certain tasks becomes critical.

For me, it's a combination of lack of energy and a feeling of being overwhelmed. Sometimes it helps if I can find the motivation to make a list of what needs to be done, and then try to focus on just doing one or two of them each day (skip a day if needed in order to be gentle with yourself).

Good luck to you, and just remember to be kind to yourself

Hi Rose,
I am not sure where is the line between depression and non depression regarding self neglect of myself. I have neglected myself for years. In my case, I think it is because of my education (i was trained to postpone my needs on behalf of other people's needs) and my low self esteem or self-love as I was raised by a narcissistic/ emotionally unavailable person. But there may be other factors, as well, including constitutional traits (things that originate in biological conditions). I really don't know but I am deeply deeply like this and it is like it happens with addictions: it will be always with me, I have to manage it.
Whatever the case, my self-neglect get worse during depression.
To me, the first thing is to get out of my house, and if possible out of my city for a couple of days. In this way, I get to break the cycle of spiraling down and down about self neglect. I have to do it before it is too late and I really sink in.
I don't know if this is useful for you. Maybe it is not.
Sending you a big hug.

Hi Rose, I'm so sorry you're feeling very blah.

I've taken Vicodin a couple of times in my life and didn't like it because it caused me to feel completely apathetic. I felt like I was floating in cement. Is it possible the Vicodin is caused your lack of motivation?

As for the haircut...can you not give it a lot of thought and just make an appointment with the stylist? I'm thinking that might shake you out of your blah-ness a bit.

I do not have my hair cut
They do not like my claws

the teeth brushing right on ... so I gargle with mouth wash on those days ... not the same but better than nothing ... can do the mouth wash .... and I used to brush everyday sometimes twice ... now ... a lot less ...

and I do not know why I do this ... but I feel your pain ....

Cheese is good for teeth... have some cheese after meals, rinse mouth out if not brushing teeth...

I so appreciate this many of you being understanding and not just blaming me. I'm cooking chicken tonight and getting interested in making something tasty for my guy and me.

Never did brush my teeth today yet. Appreciate the tip on rinsing.

I go out sometimes with my hair unbrushed, but it looks kinda messy no matter what I do to it so.

The trick is doing it four yourself and not anyone else. Rather anyone notices that you shaved your legs or brushed your teeth, you know.... If it's bothering you that it's a problem you acknowledge. I have the same problem. It's 2:30 pm and I'm in my jammies.... I started to go to church to have one day a week to dress up, for me only. Self your Steem

I can relate to this so much. I look like crap and have been wearing the same shirt for days. I will even go out in my pajama pants unless it's to a doctor appointment or something, and sometimes I even do that too.
showering is sporadic I go through periods where i'm pretty good at keeping up with it every couple of days but usually quite a few days will pass between showers.
the house is messy and I just don't care about any of it.

My tendency to meet basic needs goes up and down. A few years ago it was pretty bad and my parents threatened hospitalization so I forced myself to do more things. I used to have major issues brushing my teeth. Now I try to do it every day. Even if I didn't do anything else at least I brushed my teeth. It helps me feel a little better

Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.

I've got a magic charm
That I keep up my sleeve
I can walk the ocean floor
And never have to breathe.

Life doesn't frighten me at all
Not at all
Not at all.

Life doesn't frighten me at all.

Maya Angelou

My heart goes out to all of you above dealing with being in the doldrums where self-care is hard. I see I'm not alone in this.

There's just no explaining this to anyone who doesn't go through this.

I was told by a nurse yesterday that if only i would take care of myself like i do my cats it would be great!