[Coolbunnyrabbit]

I was feeling down for no reason a couple months ago and my mom picked up on it. She told me that a lot of my family has or has had depression (my aunt, cousins, grandma, mom, and sister!). I didn't know that and it kind of freaked me out a little for a few reasons. I took a couple screenings and they mostly said I have mild or moderate depression, but I'm still not so sure. I kind of feel like those screenings don't really cover how I feel. So I can't tell if I have some kind of depression or if this is just my personality and I'm being a little bit of a hypochondriac here. If you guys think this sounds like depression, I'll go to the doctor. Otherwise I don't want to waste their time and embarrass myself.

For 1-3 days a week I'll get really really blue for no reason and I can't get myself out of it. It's normally on the weekend when I'm alone with myself and have no distractions. The rest of the time I generally feel pretty numb. Not happy or sad, just numb/neutral. It's hard to get the motivation to do certain things, but I usually accomplish everything I need to because I know they have to get done. But there's no emotional attachment to anything. It's all robotic. I don't do any of my hobbies and when I do try to force myself to do them, it feels like a chore.
I still smile and laugh everyday and feel happy too. But it's always fleeting and shallow and it only happens when I have some kind of distraction. Once I'm alone with myself (even if I'm in a crowded place), I go back to feeling numb, like nothing really matters and I'm just going through the motions.
So that's the emotional side. Physically, I sleep a lot and well. I'll sleep 8-11 hours straight every night no problem. If I don't have any obligations, I'll stay in bed for hours after I wake up. I'm not sad or anything when I do that. I just don't have any energy. I'm generally pretty low energy. I also think I eat a lot, but I have issues with body image and food, so that's probably not actually true.

I'd say I've been like this for the past 10-11 years. People have always described me as serious and quiet. That makes me think that this is just my personality, but I also think this has slowly worsened, especially in the past 2 years. I used to always be very disciplined as well and I had a few hobbies, but that's gone away. I'm still pretty disciplined compared to my peers, but I'm not the same as I used to be.

Sorry that's so long. Does this sound like some kind of depression to you? Or am I just a serious person who's freaking herself out over nothing?

Thank you!

[Skeezyks]

Hello Coolbunnyrabbit: You know... from my perspective mental health / illness, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. I can't tell you whether or not you have depression. Only a mental health professional can diagnose you. And the reality of the situation is that even mental health professionals frequently won't agree with regard to a particular person's diagnosis... or lack thereof. You might go to one professional & that person would say: "oh yes... you definitely have depression." Then you might go to another professional & that individual would say no you're just over-thinking all of this.

The real question here it seems to me is, are you comfortable with the way you are living your day-to-day life? Sure there are always going to be ups-&-downs. Everyone has them. But, in sum, are you satisfied with the way things are going? If so, then I personally see no point in pursuing mental health treatment. On the other hand, if you just feel like in sum you're not satisfied with your day-to-day life... you sleep too much, you have no energy, nothing seems to be of interest (including things you used to enjoy), then perhaps it makes sense to consult someone. You did mention you feel this has been going on for 10 or 11 years. So that in itself may suggest this is something that would be worth looking into.

Of course, one avenue to explore is your physical health. Get a medical check-up to make sure everything is okay physically. But, assuming it is, then from my perspective at least the thing to do would be to find a counselor or mental health therapist with whom you can explore, over a period of time, what you are experiencing & what you can do about it. (This can take some effort. Not every counselor or therapist works well with every client.)

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[mar33]

I understand how you feel ah. I suppose it comes down to if you feel as if your mood and numbness impede upon what you want out of life. Purpose is definitely harder to find, and creating something or adventuring can help, but if you are questioning mental health and if it affects you that often, than speaking to a professional who can give you a new perspective may be intensely valuable.
Good luck.