[boldchexmix]

There's really no point in this post other than getting stuff off my chest. I am overwhelmed and I have been since december. I have suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm. I AM NOT IN DANGER OF HURTING MYSELF. I am just tired of being tired all of the time, not being interested in anything, the rage, the obsession with death, the intrusive negative thoughts and my medicine not working. I am exhausted and don't give a damn about my appearance. OK. I feel a little better. I really need a punching bag, I feel an agitation from the amount of energy I supposedly have despite being exhausted daily. Confusing I know.

Today though I saw my pdoc, she has been monitoring me since last July when I started on Paxil. First 10mg and then bumped up to 30mg by end of September. It has helped amazingly with my anxiety, I was unable to socialize or leave the house and it was affecting my work. Today, 8 months later I have been panic attack free since. So there is a big win in this :-) but I am still depressed unfortunately. So. Today I had a med adjustment, I requested a drop down to 20mg on my paxil to offset the sedative effects that may or may not be attributing to my exhaustion. My pdoc added in 150mg of Wellbutrin with expectations to connect in 3 months to see how it works.

I hope it works. If it does not, the next step is a psychiatrist. I've been in therapy since last May. It's frustrating when treatment doesn't work but I am still hopeful that my depression is not treatment resistant. I had higher hopes I would have responded to Paxil for the depression after the dosage increase........ but thats ok. I will keep patiently waiting, I have been depressed off and on for the past 10 years so whats another 3 months to see if the next step works.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Hope everyone is doing well today!

I'm glad your anxiety has vastly improved, that's awesome! Hopefully your depression sees improvement soon as well.

[Fuzzybear]

It's good to hear positive news