[fosterthehuman]

i went to bed super late last night it was difficult for me to fall asleep cause i felt really nauseas and sick, and i ended up staying up and watching videos. i was supposed to wake up at 10am today cause my parents were visiting me and they wanted to go out to eat. they were gunna meet me at my apartment at 11am my alarm went off at that time but i didn't wanna wake up so i kept falling back asleep. then i woke up to my mom in the room saying it's already 11am and to get dressed. i'm so upset at myself. honestly i'm ashamed that i couldn't wake up on time, i'm fustrated and tired with myslef when i do stupid things like this. i've done this before and i remember doing things like this when i was a kid. back then i felt like i just didn't know any better. but i feel like i haven't grown or changed at all. i didn't have time to take a shower or pick out clothes that i actually wanted to wear, my hair is a mess and i just feel ugly right now. i used to do things like this (lack of hygiene running late to things, falling asleep too much) when i was severely depressed (before i moved out of my mom's place) and i just can't believe i'm acting like this again. i called my mom cause her and my dad wete waiting outside and she said she wasn't mad but i just kept saying stuff like "but ik you are" and i was sounding like i was yelling and even know why. when my bf visited me last night, i was just crying and hugging him half the time cause i felt so miserable. and i was supposed to go to work last night but i called in sick cause of my stomach but honestly i just really didn't want to talk to anyone there or see anyone. what's wrong with me. i'm embarrassed to me now, ik everyone can see my faults and my imperfections and my mistakes and i feel like some ppl judge me and others that don't are just too nice or something. i've been acting really defensive and mean to my parents cause they talked to me about working on my spending cause i was asking them to help me with paying my rent. i feel guilty for doing this to them. i've been feeling guilty for how i act sometimes around my bf. like sometimes when he wants to go to the movies, i'll say that i feel too tired or i have a headache and if we can just watch a movie at home. but i feel like it has to do with that i just donmy wanna deal with other people or walk anywhere or listen to anything too loud. and sometimes when he asks me to go to the store with him i'll say that i don't wanna go and i'll just stay in the car or stay home. but going back to what happened this morning. am i making a big deal out of waking up late? do other people my age sometimes make that mistake? like is it normal? or do i need to clean my act up more? ik it's silly, but it would be nice to hear from someone. thanks.

[Skeezyks]

Hello fosterthehuman: I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I participated in a partial hospital program quite a few years ago where they said: "Don't should on yourself." If you felt nauseous & sick, then it certainly would have been difficult to fall asleep. And since you had difficulty sleeping, it makes sense you would need to sleep later the next morning.

I'm not your age anymore. But I often have difficulty either falling asleep to begin with, or staying asleep. So, when I do, I try to sleep later in the morning. Perhaps watching videos was not the best pastime. I've read that the light from one's computer or smart phone tricks the mind into thinking it's daytime. But isn't that the way it goes... ?

From my perspective all of the things you mentioned in your post are things we all do... some more... some less. But the important thing here, from my perspective, is... try to be gentle with yourself. You're a work in progress... Certainly do what you can to improve upon how you handle things day-to-day. But don't should on yourself. Okay?

[Fizzyo]

[Fuzzybear]

[RainyDay107]

foster, you're being way too hard on yourself for sleeping "late." There is no mistake here. They will adjust. Or, maybe not. That's on them. You take care of you. xo