[svmmersnow]

To be honest, I'm jealous of people who have passion and are good at something. For example, writing, painting, basically anything, or even believing in God. I heard from so many people that these things help them keep going, they are the way for them to express themselves and stay alive. Many times I read articles where these people said that because they had passion for this stuff, were good at it, they survived and maybe even make a living doing what they love. I'm jealous. I'm definitely not invalidating their pain because they still suffer, I know. It's just... I'm not good at anything. I don't have passion for anything. I find so many things interesting and would love to do them, but when I do, I don't find any joy in them. I love reading but I rarely even rad anymore - I can't make myself to. I just feel like there wouldn't be any difference whether I was alive or not. I can't contribute to the world since I can't do anything. I feel like my existence is pointless. If I could do anything - like write - at least I could contribute with something. But like this, what's point of me being alive? I see no reason really.

[benzenering]

You're not the only one. Other than work, I find my life pretty pointless. I am in therapy and I hope it helps.

[wiretwister]

depression my friend ... I been there ... every symptom you list I have lived thru ... I know longer believe I will ever be "cured" , however I have regained the passion for my work and my reading ... for me it was taking care of my physical self (vitamins (d) , a new sleep machine (bipap) , ... proper meds , I have learned my limits the hard way and am excepting I will be on them for the rest of my life , ... finding my place in the universe has been a part of my spiritual healing also ...

I was lucky and found a life raft to cling to until my pdoc was able to work out the proper meds for me ... when they lifted me enough I was able to decrease my dose to a base I am comfortable with ... I am a firm believer in meds (for some like me) to reach a point where you can start taking care of yourself ...

all I am trying to say is ( I , others) have been where you are ... and we have gotten better ... regained that spark we call passion ... it is possible ... please don't dispair or give up ...

there are a lot of good people here ... keep posting and reaching out ... and if possible my advice is to seek out professional medical help ... Love ... Tigger