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  #1  
Old Apr 10, 2017, 07:12 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
I just don't know how to get them to listen,

I do not think it's possible.

What is "wrong" with me... please don't tell me.

I already know

(Parents always dismissed my feelings, apart from Papa Bear I don't know anyone irl who actually listens..............(and I hate to upset him so I censor myself all the time)

I suppose listening is a rare skill......)

So much is going on I "can't" post about..

Maybe I'm "just too proud" to "beg" for "help" irl..

I've never been in a psych hospital.

So maybe I "should just" get over myself.

I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to start a thread, I've been ...... "invisible" for too long.
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  #2  
Old Apr 10, 2017, 07:27 PM
whisperingskye's Avatar
whisperingskye whisperingskye is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: -
Posts: 1,526
You should keep on posting here if it helps. Even if it is just to get it out. It's so hard having to live with everything locked away inside.

I am always just a pm away, I'm pretty good at listening (or I think so anyway)

I see you, and hear you.

((((((fuzzy)))))))
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure.
Failure - Breaking Benjamin
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  #3  
Old Apr 10, 2017, 07:34 PM
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Krow Krow is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I just don't know how to get them to listen,

I do not think it's possible.

What is "wrong" with me... please don't tell me.

I already know

(Parents always dismissed my feelings, apart from Papa Bear I don't know anyone irl who actually listens..............(and I hate to upset him so I censor myself all the time)

I suppose listening is a rare skill......)

So much is going on I "can't" post about..

Maybe I'm just "too proud" to "beg" for "help" irl..

I've never been in a psych hospital.

So maybe I "should just" get over myself.

I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to start a thread, I've been ...... "invisible" for too long.
One of the most frustrating situations that one can confront to modern date is a lack of empathy. It is not all too uncommon for others to claim their concerns in word but to never follow through in action. Essentially, one may claim to "care" or be willing to "listen", but all to often those very same people will turn right back around and tell the other person to "get over it" or "deal with it".

When someone tells another to "get over it", it is usually because that individual is at a loss for legitimate advice, typically because an issue or a variation of an issue proves to be unprecedented. So instead, they blurt out the first thing which comes to mind. As a result, their 'listening' and advice become counterproductive and merely worsen the stress of the individual who suffers.

Anyone could tell another person to "get over themselves", but to fail to engage with the struggle of the other is the easy way out of a complicated problem. However, many issues can never be thoroughly addressed with immediate advise. For that matter, I cannot personally recommend to you any bit of advise that has not already been mentioned by others in the past.

But whether or not I can offer you that advise, I can tell you this: The suffering is not yours alone to burden. We are all here to share the burden alongside you and to share our individual experiences to better the experiences of others.

In the end, it is better to listen and offer no advise than to listen and offer poor advise. So I am quite sorry if someone has offered you that frustrating 'advise' before. When a problem arises, it should never be ignored, no matter how dominant or miniscule it may appear.
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Fuzzybear
  #4  
Old Apr 10, 2017, 11:11 PM
Crypts_Of_The_Mind's Avatar
Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,099
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I just don't know how to get them to listen,

I do not think it's possible.

What is "wrong" with me... please don't tell me.

I already know

(Parents always dismissed my feelings, apart from Papa Bear I don't know anyone irl who actually listens..............(and I hate to upset him so I censor myself all the time)

I suppose listening is a rare skill......)

So much is going on I "can't" post about..

Maybe I'm "just too proud" to "beg" for "help" irl..

I've never been in a psych hospital.

So maybe I "should just" get over myself.

I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to start a thread, I've been ...... "invisible" for too long.

Like I said previously ... I am happy to see you posting about yourself now. Please don't stop. You have been such a support to so many - let others support you too *hugs*

I know what it is to feel invisible - but here, at least, you don't have to be. "Real life" situations can be harder to make yourself heard .. trust me, I went almost 20 years trying to get someone to "notice" I needed help by telling them how I was feeling or becoming totally silent for weeks and hiding away, crying, etc... only to have them laugh at me or tell me i was exaggerating things or just totally ignore me. I went the totally wrong way and did end up in the community psych hospital for a week.

If you have been avoiding the hospital for fear or shame but do feel you need it , I will tell you it is not as bad as it has been made out to be and the good thing about it is you do generally get set up with counseling and any other therapy you may need after you leave set up for you before you leave. But if you don't feel you need hospitalization - don't apologize for that either, just take care of yourself. You do what you need to in order to keep healthy n don't feel bad for doing so.

Listening skills do seem to be in short supply though so try not to dwell on the fact people don't listen well or much. Easier said than done, I know. I still find myself dwelling on that fact..but at least there is this place

PS The only thing "wrong" with you - is you are human and thus cannot be perfect... therefore, nothing is wrong with you - you are a beautiful soul
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Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear
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