I've noticed how unhappy I am. I've dealt with this in the past few weeks due to a number of things - things that make me angry, worried, sad, confused and lonely.
First, back to my old post. Re:
Good or bad idea: Rekindling an old flame.... We'll call this person A. Despite what happened in our 'non-relationship', I still think of him and sort of, okay, often idealize him in an unhealthy way. I've been noticing this in the past few weeks - I put him on a high pedestal, this illusion of 'he is better than me'. I met with a family friend 2 weeks ago and surprisingly, she knew something was wrong. She asked me if I was talking to A anymore. I mentioned that I'd reached out to him a couple months ago. She advised not to speak to him anymore and stop reaching out because he is not interested and that he is looking for someone who is in the same 'class' as him, meaning that whoever he dates has to have the same socioeconomic status. That got me thinking. I don't know if she's right, but looking back to when we were talking to each other at one point, it seemed he wasn't really serious about me. I grew up in a lower middle class upbringing. My parents had money but not like A's family. He comes from an upper class, white family in an affluent neighborhood. I'd always wanted that status or for him to accept me for who I am. I wanted to be like him but I couldn't. Anyway, I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking of him and have since erased his number from my phone.
Second, this one is about money and more serious and actually . My father received a bill from our state dept. of education a month ago regarding garnishing wages from his check. Apparently, the loan hasn't been paid at all and now the new amount is over $40,000 because of interest. I'm panicking. What does this mean for him and me? I understand that the loan may go into default, but I can't be the only one this has happened to. I'm scared that there will be some sort of legal action and this is something I've never gone through. Unfortunately, you can't help me with this, but I wish someone could help me financially!!!
Third, I've been feeling quite lonely. I've been in my head a lot. I took a trip to Seattle last week and tried to enjoy it, but it was tough. I kept thinking about a lot of things. I kept thinking about why I went to university out of state, why I studied my major and how I should have studied business, finance or engineering so I could make a lot more than I do now as an ELL teacher. Everyday I think about A. I think about why he didn't even want to date me. I think about my social life. I compare and I don't know why I do it.
I feel unmotivated to work on my Lit Review for my Capstone (similar to a thesis for grad students).
I know A doesn't give a fcuk about my life and what I do and certainly, I know these problems won't go away just by thinking about them. I haven't slept well in days. My mind races and I daydream. I don't want to socialize. I don't want to do anything at all. What can I do? How do I stop all the madness in my head?
Apr 12, 2017, 10:01 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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