We can talk about you I just wanna talk to someone

I don't need the attention in ways people think.I'm only out to be understood not ostracized an made to be nothing. Iam going through something I can't deal with alone ive been thinking that its to late to change my mind on making the pain stop. I'm so lonely can anyone REAL pls just talk to me.I'm not very on top of it but ill listen.

If you don't mind me asking what is it you are dealing with? You can always send me a PM if you want to chat.

What's up CoolBeans82? I wish I had anything interesting to write about for you, to help get your mind off whatever you're going through.

I am really tired... frustrated... my job is a bit nuts. Have you ever been at a job where things are going pretty well, and something weird just *changes*? That's how our department has been this year... I think it's because we were moved under a different executive, so the type of work that we're being assigned has changed. And, our project managers are becoming insanely crazy about "process". We want to just go, design and build cool stuff! But the PMs... oooooh.... they make my head hurt (ha - apologies to any PMs reading this) with all the documentation they require. It's insane. Even my boss told me that he feels like he has to numb out a little to deal with it.

Did you have a day off for Memorial Day (if you're in the states)? Did you do anything interesting? I ended up spiraling a bit into depression... stayed in bed all day Saturday, but did find an interesting program on Amazon Prime (got a free trial, yay!). "In Treatment" - since I don't currently have a T, I figured it was an OK substitute. I'm about to log off, wash my face, and go watch a couple more episodes before bed.

The way they tell the stories is interesting... it's about a therapist. Each half-hour episode shows a session with one patient, for 4 patients, then the 5th episode shows him talking to his own therapist. Here and there, we get glimpses of his life and family... it's amazing how different his life is from his work. His relationship with his wife seems to be going downhill very fast (I'm midway thru season 1, no idea how it's going to end up) and it's just... kind of sad, I guess? But interesting, since it's not a view of therapists that we get to see ever. I always wished that I could see how other people do therapy, and while this is fiction, it sort of feels helpful and interesting to me in that way.

I think if I were still seeing my old T, I'd be tempted to bring it up with him though and compare them... "the T on this show does this and this and this, and he NEVER does this! Be more like that!" (I'm kind of a difficult client!).

Hope today is going better for you... good luck with everything. And, sorry if this isn't what you were looking for (blush) - but it sounded like you might just need someone to blab for a bit to take your mind off things. Strangely, I can do that. Who knew?

*hugs*

Hi beans,

Hope it's ok if I answer here.
English isn't my first language, your post is rather hard to understand for me but I'm gonna try. Sorry if I 've got anything wrong.

Why have your skills been overlooked? That sounds very painful. SH can leave behind very ugly scars... Have you been SHing for a long time? I often think that my body hates me because of my SH and that that's why I experience some nasty somatic symptoms...

Who did you tel that you're doing fine? You shouldn't have to lie. Do you have a daughter? Don't die for one more day
Might I ask what you feel so guilty for?

Wait.. what's your definition of SH ,I'm confused an the fact that your concerned with grammer says you are one of them.. what the **** is your problem.Trying to make sure I don't kill myself an it come back on you or what.Who cares enough to put someone down like thaf...what have I done to you.

I mean its condescending an just weird to point that out first thing if you truly were concerned.

Huh? Sorry if I offended you. I'm concerned because I don't want to accidentally hurt you... whixh I obviously did, so... sorry. Wasn't my intention

My intention was to talk with you. I genuinely care about people, so I also care about you. I think that everyone is worthy of some form of support...

My definition of SH is self harm. I have scars all over my body, so... that's why I think my body hates me for it

And you did it with information an suttle but noticeable insights who are you and how do you do this I'm ashamed yes so plz stop

Coolbeans, there are some people here really trying to communicate with you and be kind to you. Can you assume their intentions are positive and to be supportive of you rather than push them away? Everyone here has their own struggles and people are generally really supportive and mean the best even if in your eyes you aren't getting what you think you are asking for. Sometimes it takes awhile to figure out how to best support a new poster, but it isn't for lack of effort and certainly not because people here mean you harm.

How can you speak for everyone.My eyes are see to many detailed references to my **** hole of a life.Maybe your not but you had details in there pertaining to my direct personal life.I'm going to say that I do need some help.....and I'm trying to get someone to see I'm worth saving .And every time I get to a point of fixing myself or calling places well its a google number or I've been redirected.There was a watch attached to my device.They screen mirror mine nonstop....I've been put down called out stabbed in the back an it wasn't a one time blow.....no its everyday constant hammering an ill admit I dont know at this point if I'm doing it to myself because they planted a very powerful seed.....so I look everywhere on the net (cuz I'm bored an I've become a literal outcast) to find some peace or solice or plain old human kindness and maybe I could help someone....but no every time I get into what it is I'm dealing with.....BOOM there's a post like yours...an they don't stop until I'm done with site all together... So if your here to help then I'm sorry but the azmazon deal the other stuff you said....well I've been vague on my discriptions an I certainly don't talk about personal details but its all to much....so I can't find what I'm looking for? Well no I actually can't hence the suicide thought's....I search everywhere for some reason to live but I'm not finding any.And yea work sucks im sorry you get paid to cuz I would love to work but I have panic attacks like I've never felt before it feels like my body shuts down an it's scary I'm scary afterwards like the oxygen to my brains goes away.So poor me everyone including the woman I love has turned their backs when I'm more scared than I've ever been.Now I'm sorry but none of that is over dramatic or fabricated ,an I didint any details except feelings which we all have.Mine just happen to be absolute worthlessness, fear of what technology is allowing people to do to me ,an the over whelming feeling I'm gonna die. The fact is i dont know if im losing it ....so i start wriiting things down to keep track of what i can prove an what i may be making up.Get help you say....well every time I call its fake or it directs me to a google number or some number out of state and they always wanna ask first
Thing what are you addicted to maybe that's standard but it doesn't feel that way....I call my baby momma cuz she's supposed to care or at least my kid will show me what'd be worth it but no I've been ghosted literally.....off an on for 6 months....I'm pulled in a million different ways and my hope for ever fixing anything relies on me getting treatment.But I'm having to many problems with technology an phones I cant ever feel comfortable leaving unless its to my baby mommas house which is also the most tertifying places cuz they all hate me an the ones that are decent it feels like it's an elaborate game to make me ghost myself out an make me break.Sorry if I wanna talk about me it affects me in ways I literally can't deal with.Sorry I really do everyone that is feeling down can find happiness an I pray noone feels this way ever.....bye

Ya know someone sets my keyboard up or some kinda thing to omit certain words or add certain words....Idk how to fix it every time I do it goes back it makes me sound like I'm stupid....or can't spell...my grammar an punctuation arent the best but......my thoughts are to loud to much an to strong...so when people make fun of it on a site like this its a big wave of sadness I'm not a whimp I have just been getting pushed to my limit mentally physically an spiritually

coolbeans82 I just wanted you to know I support you in whatever you are going through. Best wishes.