[helloiamjim]

I get feedback at work only if I ask for it, and when I ask for it, it's always negative. Not super negative like I'm surprised I'm not fired yet, but just negative and nothing positive.

I've been in the same position for 5 years. If things were really bad, I'd be fired by now.

How do you deal with a manager like this? It's so demotivating, I don't even feel like working.

My mood has been good lately. I'm trying not to let this mess it up.

[Raindropvampire]

I had a manager like this and it does suck. I point blank asked him once why all he had to say was negative and I quote "It's your job to do things right. Why would you expect praise for doing what you are supposed to be doing anyway? It's my job to point out areas you are lacking in to help you improve not coddle and handhold you."

I remembered what a T once told me and that was you can't change someone else's behavior but you can change how you react to it. So from then on when he gave me negative input I took it with a grain of salt. IF I thought the statement had merit I'd work on improving it. If not then in one ear out the other.

I also decided I did not need nor want his approval. As long as I knew I was doing a good job and could be proud of my accomplishments that was all I needed. I also fostered amicable relationships with coworkers and we built each other up since we knew we weren't going to get that from management.

I really hope you don't let him get under your skin too much. It is very demoralizing to work for someone like that. As long as you know you are doing a good job be proud. IF he ever gives a critique that you think you could you work on then do it otherwise screw him and his negative words.

[helloiamjim]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I had a manager like this and it does suck. I point blank asked him once why all he had to say was negative and I quote "It's your job to do things right. Why would you expect praise for doing what you are supposed to be doing anyway? It's my job to point out areas you are lacking in to help you improve not coddle and handhold you."

I remembered what a T once told me and that was you can't change someone else's behavior but you can change how you react to it. So from then on when he gave me negative input I took it with a grain of salt. IF I thought the statement had merit I'd work on improving it. If not then in one ear out the other.

I also decided I did not need nor want his approval. As long as I knew I was doing a good job and could be proud of my accomplishments that was all I needed. I also fostered amicable relationships with coworkers and we built each other up since we knew we weren't going to get that from management.

I really hope you don't let him get under your skin too much. It is very demoralizing to work for someone like that. As long as you know you are doing a good job be proud. IF he ever gives a critique that you think you could you work on then do it otherwise screw him and his negative words.

Your thoughts are comforting. I hate that you went through this too. I don't know if I can get to the point of not caring about getting his approval since he is responsible for me having a job.

I do know I'm doing a good job. And I'm always open to doing better. I just want to remain true to myself and not have to kiss ***. But I guess sometimes you have to do that to keep your job.

[Raindropvampire]

I've been fortunate and never had to kiss butt to keep my job. I have the unfortunate habit of speaking my mind and it doesn't matter who it is lol. That's how it came about that I asked him why he never had anything good to say. I've had one manager that tried to fire me for insubordination but his superior overrode it and I kept my job.

I'm glad that you know you are doing a good job please take great pride in that Hopefully he'll come to his senses and realize how his attitude affects you. Best wishes to you

[Marie123]

It is too bad that managers don't understand how uplifting it is to hear that you are doing a good job. Negative people are usually very unhappy and don't want to change. You can smile to yourself when you hear something negative, knowing you are doing a good job! As an aside, I lived with an (ex) husband for 31 years who was always negative....I used to say that if he won a million dollars, he would find a way to make it negative.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you have to put with this! i agree with the wise and wonderful Raindropvampire and Marie123 about trying not to pay too much attention to these comments unless of course you feel like there's some merit in what he says. If you're feeling particularly discouraged always reming yourself that you can only try to do the best you can and that that is what we can all do so try not to let this kind of comments get to you, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @helloiamjim, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[helloiamjim]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I had a manager like this and it does suck. I point blank asked him once why all he had to say was negative and I quote "It's your job to do things right. Why would you expect praise for doing what you are supposed to be doing anyway? It's my job to point out areas you are lacking in to help you improve not coddle and handhold you."

I remembered what a T once told me and that was you can't change someone else's behavior but you can change how you react to it. So from then on when he gave me negative input I took it with a grain of salt. IF I thought the statement had merit I'd work on improving it. If not then in one ear out the other.

I also decided I did not need nor want his approval. As long as I knew I was doing a good job and could be proud of my accomplishments that was all I needed. I also fostered amicable relationships with coworkers and we built each other up since we knew we weren't going to get that from management.

I really hope you don't let him get under your skin too much. It is very demoralizing to work for someone like that. As long as you know you are doing a good job be proud. IF he ever gives a critique that you think you could you work on then do it otherwise screw him and his negative words.

I can see I'll have to do what you did and only look for my own approval. This situation has been a learning experience, especially about what a manager should and shouldn't do.