?

I was ok in the morning then I had to call about a job (I thought I had) and she told me it was given to someone else and I didn't even get an interview. Well, that started it. I have been down all day to the present time. I have been thinking of death, because at least then I will have accomplished something. When I got home I took a nap but when I woke up it was even worse and the feelings are stronger. I just don't want to continue, but since I fail at everything, I'd even fail at trying to end it. It is not just the job, but my whole life is torture. I just want to be alone and cry.

((( ariesmars )))

That is very disappointing to have happen. I'm sorry you didn't get the interview and the job.

What thought process began when you were told the job went to someone else? Can you identify the beginning of your downward spiral?

You didn't fail, in my opinion. You did all the things you were supposed to do in applying for the job. So you didn't fail in that; you succeeded.

Since you were not the person doing the hiring, you had no input into who ultimately was offered the job, so that is not something that you could succeed or fail at. It was completely out of your hands.

You did your part just right.

((((((((((((((( ariesmars )))))))))))))))

I remember the disappointment of not getting a job I wanted but it seemed that the one I finally did get each time was a whole lot better and I'd be glad I didn't get that first one. I spent 10 years deliberately getting and then quitting part-time jobs (after I'd worked at them awhile :-) just to help myself with the anxiety of getting/quitting jobs. I was always a mess when I'd start a job and never knew how to get out of them when they went sour.

Can you start a job journal, make it into a "project"? I once put "my" bird logo on the upper left corner of my resume. I had a couple heavy, black, lines; one vertical, one horizontal to "frame" the resume and it looked like the bird was "landing" on the horizontal one:



I did it deliberately because I love that bird's expression, it reminds me of me :-) and I figured if the people I was sending the resume to didn't have a good sense of humor like I did, then I didn't want to work with them! The job I got was wonderful and I learned a great deal and made some really good friends.

You are not valuable for what job you get or don't get; you have the value in and of yourself, the job/people you will work with will be fortunate to have you with them. A job is just a "thing" and you are much more than that. You're the right size, it's the pants that don't fit! Don't give up now, ariesmars, you'll miss the "good stuff" that is coming your way.

More problems! I hate my life! I have 2 VCR's and they both broke! They worked a few days ago and now one will not show picture and the other shows a split screen with 2 different programs and it keeps eating the tapes. I tried to fix it and a tool I was using were scissors which worked great yesterday and now they will not cut! What the ???? else will go wrong!!!!!!