[LiteraryLark]

I want to sit and sulk and cry for hours and days and weeks. For so long I have never permitted myself to be sad or depressed, and when I want to be unhappy I have outbursts of temporary rage until the "happy me" comes back.

I want to be sad and feel sad, but I have to put on a brave face for my parents and the people in my household and I keep myself busy with donation runs and work. I have no time or space to be sad.

I want to feel sad, but I don't want to feel sorry for myself. I don't want to wallow in woes and self-pity. I just want to be and feel sad, and I really don't know how.

((((LL)))) Do you like sad or angry music? Listening to certain kinds of music, can help me feel kind of empowered in my depression. Even if it's slow and melancholy. Moody music. I find it brings me a feeling of resonation, which then lifts my spirits.

I'm sorry you feel like you have to put on a front for your family and work! At the same time, I think it's great that you know *how* you want to feel (sad, but not sorry for yourself).

[LiteraryLark]

My sad music is very limited. I mostly have mellow songs that are still uplifting. Even Evanescence is made for me to feel good, I can't listen to it and feel sad because it makes me feel like I'm wallowing in my sorrow. And I can't listen to sad music on the way to work because I can't be sad in front of my client, and so far when I drive it's go, go, go, things to do. I can't just sit and be sad.

Song/Artist suggestions?

[wool&plaid]

Hi I'm wondering what your outlets are for sad feelings? I find when I can do it putting my sad in to some kind of activity makes me feel better without making me feel like I need to feel better if that makes sense. I like singing sad songs and playing my ukulele or writing all the worst thoughts in my journal. It gets the sad feelings moving.
<3

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Could you drive to a spot in the middle of nowhere, and let it out there?

Music will help you!

Why not try something completely different, with no associations like a piece of classical music?

[LiteraryLark]

I listened to sad piano music and I liked that alot

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Oh great.

Here's another one that makes me cry. That's not necessarily much of a guide, as I cry at, like, TV ads

This aria is from Madame Butterfly.

It's about a Japanese girl, who falls in love with a British soldier. He leaves her, promising to return. She waits, every day for three years, staring out to sea...

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by wool&plaid

Hi I'm wondering what your outlets are for sad feelings? I find when I can do it putting my sad in to some kind of activity makes me feel better without making me feel like I need to feel better if that makes sense. I like singing sad songs and playing my ukulele or writing all the worst thoughts in my journal. It gets the sad feelings moving.
<3

I do a lot of DBT skills, journaling, listening to upbeat music, exercise, talking about my problems to my parents, watching a feel-good movie, doing kindnesses for others, playing my guitar and harmonica, writing, going for a scenic drive, cooking....the list goes on and on...I know what to do when I'm sad. But I just can't allow myself to feel sad and I think that is not healthy because sadness is a normal part of life for people even without mental illness. Most times sadness is a normal feeling. But my house burned to the ground and I've had no time to grieve for it, forcing myself to go on donations runs and to look at the positives rather than dwell on what I lost. I'm not asking to sulk or dwell in my sorrows, I just need help grieving and maybe keep looking like the positives as I have been. I just don't know if the lack of sadness is a normal part of grieving.

There are times I want to be depressed, cause it's familiar and comfortable. It sucks, but it's what I know, and I can relate to myself in that state.

So I definitely relate. Sorry I have nothing to really add. Just that I do understand.

I guess I like to feel depressed too cause it's better than feeling NOTHING - which is what I feel most of the time.

Working on a playlist for you.

[LiteraryLark]

I spent the whole day in bed listening to sad piano/violin songs. Without having any desire to learn, I think that the piano is my favorite instrument, with violin in second.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I'm pleased piano music is resonating with you.

[LiteraryLark]

Now I'm switching it up to Enya.

Ok. I was going to pm you a spotify list, but I am having trouble with doing that in spotify (nothing to do with psych central). So I'm going to post it here. I hope you find something you like. It's kind of short. I'm glad you've been listening to piano music

Dumb - Nirvana
Metal Heart - Cat Power
Upside Down - Tori Amos
Tibetan Pop Stars - Hop Along
You're Damaged - Waxahatchee
Bathtub - Waxahatchee
In the Springtime of His Voodoo (Rookery Ending) - Tori Amos
Chinatown - Girlpool

I also have a happier playlist I wanted to share with you. There's a lot on it. But I can share some next time if you want.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by starrysky

Ok. I was going to pm you a spotify list, but I am having trouble with doing that in spotify (nothing to do with psych central). So I'm going to post it here. I hope you find something you like. It's kind of short. I'm glad you've been listening to piano music

Dumb - Nirvana
Metal Heart - Cat Power
Upside Down - Tori Amos
Tibetan Pop Stars - Hop Along
You're Damaged - Waxahatchee
Bathtub - Waxahatchee
In the Springtime of His Voodoo (Rookery Ending) - Tori Amos
Chinatown - Girlpool

I also have a happier playlist I wanted to share with you. There's a lot on it. But I can share some next time if you want.

Thank you! Can't wait to check them out!

Thinking of you, LL. I think we both can relate to this.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

Thinking of you, LL. I think we both can relate to this.

Thank you Bigiorno. It's not PC, it's Bigiorno.

I just watched the first 7 episodes of Rick and Morty in a row. I still feel on the lousy side but today was the first day since the fire when I stayed in bed all day. I do feel better for it, though.

[Keyplayer]

Hi LiteraryLark ,

Can you get the Hallmark channel ? There are a ton of tear jerker movies , I am hooked on the Hallmark channel this time of year.

I love that you play piano , I dig that so much , will you please join my Social Group called Musicians Corner , I sure would be honored to have you , thanks CU there , I hope !

Later ,

Keyplayer. 

[LiteraryLark]

P.S. Bigiorno I've been dying to see another comic like that so I can google the article...I am in LOVE this comic girl strip!

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Keyplayer

Hi LiteraryLark ,

Can you get the Hallmark channel ? There are a ton of tear jerker movies , I am hooked on the Hallmark channel this time of year.

I love that you play piano , I dig that so much , will you please join my Social Group called Musicians Corner , I sure would be honored to have you , thanks CU there , I hope !

Later ,

Keyplayer. 

No, I wish I played piano. I am a beginner's guitarist (I had just paid off a brand new guitar that was lost in the fire as well as an old bass, but both were replaced by a charity group) and I can play harmonica better than I can play guitar...but that was lost too in the fire.

[LiteraryLark]

Seriously. Sarah is the voice of our people!

[Albatross2008]

I think it's good to give yourself permission to feel whatever you do feel. Paradoxically, I find that allowing myself those feelings makes it *easier* to manage them. For example, if I squash and squash and squash my anger, because I think I "shouldn't" feel that way, now I'm dealing with feeling guilty on top of feeling angry. It bottles up, and then when it comes out, oh boy, does it come out. Telling myself it's OK to be angry stops me from fighting the anger itself, and I feel less overwhelmed. Then I'm more likely to handle it constructively, and less likely to lose my temper.

Sadness works the same way.

[MatBell]

I know this so well. Depression and suicidal ideation has become like a big black, velvety blanket I know so well and is so easy to disappear into when (even the tiniest) problems arise.