[Shazerac]

The big black dog is back on my porch I had weird dreams last night and I slid down to a deep depression today. I don't know if it's because of the ingoing issue with my mother in laws declining physical and mental health, or it's just a phase of my bipolar that my brain has decided to go through.

I talked to my husband today and ended up crying on his shoulder. I feel like I'm just adding to his burden with all he's dealing with his mother. I tried to hide it and failed. He told me that I am his rock that he leans on. How can I be his rock when I feel like a puddle of goo?

I missed going to a friends birthday party today because I was too depressed to go. Bleh, I hate it when I get like this

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

He told me that I am his rock that he leans on. How can I be his rock when I feel like a puddle of goo?

Can you be a rock in a puddle of goo? Do your best to support him while caring for yourself. It might seem pointless while depressed, but even being a little 'rock' can mean a lot to him. I hope you feel better soon!

I’m so sorry; the situation with your MIL sounds difficult. I’ve seen you mention it a few times. I have to say the only times I ever called the crisis line was over angst dealing w/my mother’s health problems. It was so hard. I can see how this could cause or at least aggravate a downturn.

I was surprised once to hear my late husband say I was so tough. I never felt that way! It is funny how we appear to others. I guess they don’t see what we’re feeling. Maybe I was acting.

I hope you feel better soon

[Olanza-what?]

I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time right now.

You are a rock in this community (here at PC). You've been so supportive and encouraging to many here, including me and I am thankful and I hope to do the same for you. I agree with Yzen, be the best rock you can but also be good to you, take care of you.

Well wishes for your MIL and I hope that you feel better real soon.

[Patagonia]

There's nothing wrong with leaning on your best friend for support. I think it's wonderful that you have each other for comfort. Not many have that so enjoy that comfort you have with him & you'll be a rock soon for him too.

[Shazerac]

A big hug and thank you to all of you it's very comforting to receive support. It's nice to be able to share with people who understand. My husband gets situationally depressed from time to time, but he's not mentally ill. He listens to me and tries to empathize. I couldn't ask for more.

I've tried to explain to him that to me depression is like having a broken leg. You can know that you have a broken leg and understand why you are in pain, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Shazerac )))))))))

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you are struggling with depression right now. I’m glad you have your husband to lean on. We’re here for you as well. I hope you feel better soon. Sending big hugs.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Sorry, Shaz. Yes, don't forget to look after yourself!

[whisperingskye]

I don't have much experience with bipolar, but I definitely know depression. I'm sorry you are feeling low, I am here if you ever want to talk

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

How can I be his rock when I feel like a puddle of goo?

Probably because, all our perceived personal failings aside, you are there for him.

I hope you're feeling better soon.