[Silent Blatherskite]

I tend to write a lot, and even though I just joined, today is no exception. I wrote three solid pages of text concerning my personal background, struggles with depression, and some thoughts on CEN and helicopter parents. But I didn't post everything since it was already a lot to take in.

Any recommendations on what to do with this doc file? In the past, I just buried it into my hard drive, forgetting I ever wrote stuff like it. While I wouldn't call it word vomit, it's certainty a long train of thought. Even if I try to focus on one problem, I tend to still try and tackle several items at once, I guess out of habit.

The idea of sharing it online seems foreign to me, as it's such a lengthy file with so many little details that I either want to pick it apart or forget about. More so, it feels like presenting a mountain, which is of course just a fraction of the tip of the iceberg continent. Trying to make a summary of it all just doesn't seem to help and I would overloading myself and everyone else. The abbreviation tl;dr is fitting. Lastly, I still struggle with the idea that no one would actually care, so why bother. And even if they do care, this is just too much to handle for anyone, myself included.

But the worse part is it still feels pointless. At first, it kinda felt nice to put some thoughts into the document. But the more I dredged up, the worse and more hopeless I felt, especially about events in the past. So, I have no idea what to do with this file on my desktop.

Maybe I just overdid it? Which sounds just like me. I guess I've been struggling with this depression for so long that I just want it to end and I would go overboard just to get rid of it sooner. I really should know better as I've been to plenty of therapy sessions in the past, know that this depression...'is sticky,' to put it in a less catastrophizing light.

I'll try to stop the rambling here. Thanks

[Winterbritt]

Hi,
I'm not sure what you should do with your file. When you think of your options? What makes you feel the lightest and most free? Do that.

Do you feel that writing about those subjects help your depression? You said it made you feel worse and more hopeless? So I guess I am just wondering why you do it?

I like to write too. But I stopped writing about depression and started writing about happiness. It makes me feel lighter. My depression is gone.

[Silent Blatherskite]

My hope was that it would help get it out and help the depression. It varied my moody heavily.