[AbladeintheMeadow]

...of lying in bed knowing I have so much to do:
Buy a birthday gift - can't face having to leave the house.
Gather all my work notes together & write lists of all the stuff I need to do. I feel out of control & overwhelmed at work because I don't have a clear plan. I know if I made one I'd feel better but I can't face doing it.
Make a wedding card for my best friend's wedding
Move a debt to a credit card with a better interest deal before the better deal runs out
Run because I'm running out of training time.

I haven't washed my hair for a week.
The bed sheets need changing
The oven needs cleaning
My hair needs cutting
I need to cook better meals

I have changed this post so many times through fear I'm going mad.

Oh God help me...it's all just too much

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Try to do one thing at the time. Start with the easier one. Perhaps you could reward yourself everytime you complete a task.

[Marla500]

Is it possible to give yourself a break and revise your expectations a little? for instance, would your friend understand if her present was a little late? instead of making a card for your friends wedding, could you buy one instead? instead of making a full list of your works chores could you write down one thing and come back to it when you think of something? it will help to get started but dont be too hard on yourself and try not to feel guilty because depression is not your fault

[Wild Coyote]

You sound very overwhelmed.

Maybe organize a master list of tasks and prioritize each day?
Maybe set an attainable goal(s) and join the accountability thread here on the Depression forum?

Sometimes. I can see all I need to do, it all looks sooooo overwhelming and it adds to my depression. Then I don't feel motivated. I feel totally overwhelmed and paralyzed.

If/when I can take just one task at a time, I start to feel more hopeful about my ability to handle my responsibilities.

I do know what it's like to feel overwhelmed and paralyzed. I hope you catch a break soon.


WC

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sometimes. I can see all I need to do, it all looks sooooo overwhelming and it adds to my depression. Then I don't feel motivated. I feel totally overwhelmed and paralyzed.

WC

This is exactly how I feel. Paralysed. That's a good way to describe it. Thank you for understanding.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry.
That's a tough spot to be in.

WC

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Originally Posted by Marla500

Is it possible to give yourself a break and revise your expectations a little? for instance, would your friend understand if her present was a little late? instead of making a card for your friends wedding, could you buy one instead? instead of making a full list of your works chores could you write down one thing and come back to it when you think of something? it will help to get started but dont be too hard on yourself and try not to feel guilty because depression is not your fault

Thank you I messaged my friend & apologised & that's took the pressure off a bit. I think I put myself under pressure unnecessarily sometimes...like with the card. I guess it's because I feel like such a failure that I try & overcompensate but that just results in more feelings of failure.

Thank you for your kind words.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Try to do one thing at the time. Start with the easier one. Perhaps you could reward yourself everytime you complete a task.

Thank you. I think that's part of it - I never just start with one thing. I always feel like I have to do everything & like get everything done & finished. Which is totally unachievable & actually I just set myself up to fail. Maybe because I feel like such a failure it's almost self sabotage? I prove myself right.

One thing at a time would be achievable. I will try.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Maybe organize a master list of tasks and prioritize each day?
Maybe set an attainable goal(s) and join the accountability thread here on the Depression forum?

WC

I'm going to try this again. I did join in the accountability thread. It's a really great idea. I loved it when I saw it. I just felt like I was letting everyone down so I thought it was better to withdraw quietly.

But I'm going to try again. Maybe this time with just one aim each day instead of trying to do too many or plan too far ahead. Thank you again.

[NotYoursToKeep]

I’m in the same place. The list gets longer every day and I feel worse as it does. And then the people around me..they don’t understand. Can you imagine what it’s like to not know what depression feels like? Or anxiety? There are people out there that have no idea. I wish I were them. I wish I were anyone but me right now. Having someone that really gets it helps...and I totally get it.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Hey there NotYoursToKeep

Welcome to PC

Thank you so much for your reply. You're right. It really does help to know we're not on your own in how we feel or with what goes on inside our heads. And I know how difficult it is when people in your life just don't get it. They have no frame of reference unless they have experienced it & I know I struggle to find words that come anywhere close to being able to explain it to someone who does not have that insight.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

Please keep posting here & check out the accountability thread in this Forum - it may help you.

I have received nothing but support from PC members & they have been there when I have been at my lowest of times.

Take care.

[Wild Coyote]

I think it's great you are willing to try again!


WC