[*Laurie*]

Summer was very stressful in some ways but I got through it okay.
Meds have been working well.
I enjoyed the Halloween season.
Today was our first rainy day...I like the rain and I prefer cooled temperatures!
But I'm sitting here terribly depressed and anxious.
I was handling things.
There have been so many losses over the past 2 years, beloved pets and my precious sister...all the losses happened between November and March.

I thought I could handle autumn this time. Last night my dear, sweet, wonderful cat got sick, it looked frighteningly bad, but she seems to have overcome. Seems something just upset her stomach. My precious oldest cat, though (18) has cancer and of course won't be around much longer. It's day-by-day. But I was handling it!

Now the wintry weather has hit, the time is changing tonight, and if I could I'd go inpatient. I'm so scared of this lack of ability to cope.

God, I thought this depression was gone. What do I do, what do I do...

I've been enjoying doing art work for the past few months; today I just laid in bed for the most part. There are no more medication options, this is it.
I AM SO SCARED. I'll be 55 in December; is this forever?

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling so well. By all means go inpatient if that is what is needed. During my worst depression I was hospitalized and underwent several ECT treatments. It worked better than any med I've been on, but due to the risks involved I only mention it as a last resort. Keeping in mind that ECT is usually for when meds, exercise, meditation, other self-help, etc, has not worked. I imagine you have tried these things and more in the past. Something to consider, if your depression ever affects you to the point of not functioning well.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

That's some tough times you've had, Laurie. I'm very sorry about your sister. Best wishes to you. Hope things look a little brighter soon.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling so well. By all means go inpatient if that is what is needed. During my worst depression I was hospitalized and underwent several ECT treatments. It worked better than any med I've been on, but due to the risks involved I only mention it as a last resort. Keeping in mind that ECT is usually for when meds, exercise, meditation, other self-help, etc, has not worked. I imagine you have tried these things and more in the past. Something to consider, if your depression ever affects you to the point of not functioning well.

If this damned depression weighs on me after my dear kitty is gone I will go IP. I have to care for her now, in her last bit of time.

I would like to get ECT. Thank you for sharing your experience of it. Yes, I have tried and continue to do all the 'stuff'- meds, meditation, mindfulness, breathwork. I am going to start seeing a therapist...we'll see if that helps at all. I'm just so scared.

Thank you so much for your reply Just being heard helps a lot.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

That's some tough times you've had, Laurie. I'm very sorry about your sister. Best wishes to you. Hope things look a little brighter soon.

Thank you for your condolence. Yes, losing my sister...the pain of it is scorching.

[CepheidVariable]

I didn't realize it had piled up so badly, especially about your sister. You have all my sympathies. You're such a good presence here.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

I didn't realize it had piled up so badly, especially about your sister. You have all my sympathies. You're such a good presence here.

Thank you so very much. I suppose it would do me well to open up more. I tend to bury things inside until I'm in a dangerous place.

[markdl]

Sorry for the loss of your sister.