[1992ArgentinaMan]

Dont know, im pretty bored right now, is just going to write some of how are my things right now, and how been doing.

I always think that mayyybe someone in one of this depression forums is going to relate, but its not been working, i started with depression forums and chatrooms at least before this year, and maybe a year before too without finding much people to relate about depression experience, or, at least, the kind of depression ive been having.

How days are ? Pretty null, day by day is just null. I dont sleep well, so i dont wake up well, i just wake up tired, and I tend to wake up late, so that brings me lot of anxiety and stress, cause its just wake up and suddenly thinking in the what i had to or i should do. But this is kinda ok this last days.

But, its just wake up and dont have much to do. In big part is cause ive been out of job or any kind of activy, since a while ago. I really dont like to say it, cause, when you are out of activities a couple of months its ok, and then you think "ok, im going to take year", but then comes another year, and then a year and a half and you think "wait, something is going really wrong with this".

But, what can i do ? I dont make this, it just come.

But, the thing is. This days i just wake up and then its i dont have much to do, its bit more complicated than this, but, this is what i think it happens, just nothing to do, just fool around, trying to find something to entertein myself, and trying to think what to do with my situation.

I have my sister and niece with me this days on visit, so in one hand its good, cause play with my niece brings me lot of joy, its pretty funny, its a good momment to distender.

But, due my lack of good rest i dont have the energy to do some things I would like to do. Im not to go out and take her to outside to play, make a trip or something, i just keep at home playing at home, i regret about this...

But, continuing, in the other hand, have my sister and niece doesnt give me time alone, what ive been needing, a lot, and i have to find the alone times, and when i find a little of alone time im just too tired to think, and i just watch tv until night comes up.

But,trying to explain whats my situation, i just dont have no one to talk, no one to call, no one to say "hi", no one to say "do you know any good movie to watch ?", no, i just not, no one to "hey, wanna go outside and drink something ?", no, not that.

Its just me, with me, and more of me. Its so exhaugsting, have to just talk with myself.

I dont get along very much with my sister, so... i cant count with her, we are like a dog and a cat. And then, no one else.

I have family stresses to with my mother, my mother had a stroke time ago, with cognitive aftermath, so, its very tricky to treat with her, this is a whole story to tell, but just keep with this. And my sister doesnt have the same way to I treat my mother, so, i cant count with her to treat with my mother, and there is tention, and things with my mother arent ok with me, i used to have a nice relationship with my mother (i used to be her caregiver, "covered" caregiver, i mean, since my mother passed to live alone, and i understood my mother was needing someone to take care of her, i put myself on that role, just me, with no one more, she passed to just have me to ask for a favour, or going to visit her, etc). The things with my mother this last time its starting to have some bad attitude against me, so, now i even dont have my mother to talk, or even visit her and have a nice day, maybe its not this bad (at least cognitive speaking, she is better, but kind of, she have been having some emotional disorders), ive been trying to work on this, she is ok at least, better than in the past (i worked in cognitive and emotional stuff with her, i used to be a psychology student).

This is kinda more of the past, dont like to talk much about this cause this is just old, but im just writing my thoughts.

But, again, trying to come back to what i was trying to explain, my days are just null, nothing to do, just me with myself, its so exhausting, no time for myself, and a relationship with tention with my mother. I kinda think making this thing too big, but at the same time, i think its reasonable.

Should have to find people to talk and all that, but,, im not one of those that mix and mingle easily with people, i really dont have interest on it, i mean, on the people i know. But, i finished like this.

Im 25. from Argentina. So, just bringing up some thoughts about my "story". Just trying to share something in a depression forum, when the idea of "depression sites", "depression chatrooms", and "depression forums" clicked on my mind i thought " yes ! im going to find lot of people around the world who suffer of depression and wants to talk, and relate, and share", but no, i just found a really small bunch of people, with some % of people that doesnt have or had depression, and those "trolls", or too young people, or dont know, just not the people i was expecting,

i was expecting something more... like someone living alone at some place, having some bad situations, looking for someone to chat, dreaming with someone to chat, to hear finally a voice from a corner of the world and thinking how amazing life is and have a reviling experiene of life.

But no, i just found plain people, with plain problems, and frustration for me.

Nothing much to put on here, the worse part about this is that maybe just a few are going to read this, and maybe just a few relate, and maybe just a few reply, so.

At least is a way to pass the time. At least ? yes, right.

I feel now im kinda old to complain about all this things, but... i call it "wastes/scraps" that still being around.

Bye.

[All Is Revealed]

I am so sorry you feel this way. I'm surprised that you haven't found people on PC you can relate to. Especially since the depression section is very popular here.

I've been on PC for only 3 weeks, and the amount of support here is drowning me (in a good way!)

I don't suffer from depression. But I bet you can find many people you can connect with. Come back more often.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I’m also sorry you haven’t found someone to connect with...yet. Don’t give up. There are many amazing, supportive people here. It’s just my personal experience but I’ve found that I get out of PC what I put into it. I support and am supported. I wish you the best.

[1992ArgentinaMan]

There are "plain problems", i mean, maybe this is englobe in "people who doesnt have or had depression", or at least, severe depression, which is the kind of people i try to find to chat. I mean, some people doesnt know how hard a depression can be. Anyway, but this is not with "uninformed judgements", Bye.