[Nike007]

Triggering. Warning ⚠️

So I just got back from vacation yesterday, and I still feel awful. My suicidal thoughts are getting to the point where it’s all I think about now. Once I get back to my apartment and away from family, I think I have no other choice but to go to the ER. I’m afraid of harming myself in some way... I’m scared about going, as I know it will significantly increase my anxiety, but I don’t know what to do at this point. It’s been weeks. I have emailed my psychologist and he’s been helpful, but I haven’t seen him since school was finished for the semester, which was about 3 weeks ago. I just can’t deal with these thoughts anymore. I’m anxious about what’s going to happen there. I’ve been doing my best to learn about it to alleviate my anxiety, but I feel like I don’t know much. But I feel like death is the only option right now. I just want to be wished luck on going. Apparently 68% of people in my province of Canada are discharged when going to the ER, like I was previously, so I may just be back to being crap and home in two days. Grr...

[pegasus]

Go get the help you need. My thoughts are with you.

[KYWoman]

Do you have crisis numbers to call to talk to someone bout suicide?

If you are a threat to yourself or others they will certify you. I really don't think they will turn you away if you are feeling like this. I know it's scary, but I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for being committed (more than once). You will get the help you need.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by KYWoman

Do you have crisis numbers to call to talk to someone bout suicide?

Yes I do. I have used them in the past, though not about suicide, and they haven’t been that helpful for me. I find talking on the phone very difficult, as it makes me quite anxious, and also, it’s talking to strangers. Even when I talk to people I know on the phone I tend to stutter from anxiety...

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

If you are a threat to yourself or others they will certify you. I really don't think they will turn you away if you are feeling like this. I know it's scary, but I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for being committed (more than once). You will get the help you need.

I don’t know... I was a threat to myself the last time I went to emer and they said I could go after talking to a crisis worker. And I was feeling like I am now.

Hmmm, when you have these thoughts of self-harm and suicide, do they frighten you? I remember back when I was 16-17, I was admitted to the hospital for what I thought was depression and suicidal thoughts/intent. Turns out they were intrusive suicidal thoughts caused by OCD (Pure O, to be exact). If the thoughts are coming from an anxiety standpoint, then you likely aren't in any danger to yourself even if it may feel that way. What helped me get through was a lot of intensive therapy, on an inpatient basis. If this resonates with you in any way, feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Definitely go to emerg if you feel the need though, your life is valuable and not worth risking.

[MickeyCheeky]

Go if you feel it's necessary. Do what's right for yourself

Originally Posted by Nike007

I don’t know... I was a threat to myself the last time I went to emer and they said I could go after talking to a crisis worker. And I was feeling like I am now.

That makes me so mad. I hate how much we have to fight to get what we need. If you walked in with a broken leg they wouldn't sent you away after talking to someone. When will people start understanding this is serious.

Sorry, mini rant. I wish I was where you are so I could advocate for you. I know how hard it is to fight for yourself when depressed.

[Stuck1nhead]

I understand where you are coming from. Both my girlfriend and I have been down that path. I myself hate talking on the phone which is why I found a help line that does text

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Hmmm, when you have these thoughts of self-harm and suicide, do they frighten you? I remember back when I was 16-17, I was admitted to the hospital for what I thought was depression and suicidal thoughts/intent. Turns out they were intrusive suicidal thoughts caused by OCD (Pure O, to be exact). If the thoughts are coming from an anxiety standpoint, then you likely aren't in any danger to yourself even if it may feel that way. What helped me get through was a lot of intensive therapy, on an inpatient basis. If this resonates with you in any way, feel free to PM me if you have any questions.


Definitely go to emerg if you feel the need though, your life is valuable and not worth risking.

I wouldn’t say they really frighten me per se. It’s not like the episodes of panic from OCD for me anyways. I currently feel that this is a good option, so...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I wouldn’t say they really frighten me per se. It’s not like the episodes of panic from OCD for me anyways. I currently feel that this is a good option, so...

Absolutely do what you feel is best. I hope you'll keep us posted on how you're doing.

[MtnTime2896]

My thoughts are with you, friend.