[wool&plaid]

Hi everyone,
I was trying to use this site more this past year but then I just floated away a bit. I would really appreciate being able to share some stuff tho.

So

I'm in a country that is not my own, on a continent i wasn't born on and no family here. I'm in my second year of a master's degree and haven't been home since I moved here because its too expensive.
Everything is sort of collapsing in on itself right now and I don't feel like I have the energy or support to prop it up. I have good friends here but I feel like it is so much work to convince them that I need help. And what help do I need I don't even know! How could they help? I feel like I have to be continually reaching out and no one is reaching in. Except my best friend who is in my home country who I talk to every day online but who also has a lot of stuff going on and I don't want to overdo it.
I started taking an SSRI again in the fall but as of sunday I stopped taking them because I feel so done with this trying. And I was sick of feeling so flat. At least now I can cry a bit. I just feel like my life is over. I had to postpone graduating so I won't be finishing this year as planned because this depression has stopped me from being able to work. I feel like the school has just completely forgotten about me and I am just here, so pathetic, unable to do much and wasting all my savings and student loan.
I have been seeing a psychologist but at our last appointment he said that maybe this was doing more harm than good and we should stop, or space them out more. And its true but makes me feel more alone.
I know stopping meds cold turkey is the worst idea, but so far I feel a bit better.
I have an appointment tomorrow with the psychiatrist to maybe switch to different meds. I just can't really see past this right now. I feel like my life really is over. Its either over in the sense that I'm going to die or in that I need to make a massive change. I don't know what to do. Hitting a wall.

Originally Posted by wool&plaid

Hi everyone,
I was trying to use this site more this past year but then I just floated away a bit. I would really appreciate being able to share some stuff tho.

So

I'm in a country that is not my own, on a continent i wasn't born on and no family here. I'm in my second year of a master's degree and haven't been home since I moved here because its too expensive.
Everything is sort of collapsing in on itself right now and I don't feel like I have the energy or support to prop it up. I have good friends here but I feel like it is so much work to convince them that I need help. And what help do I need I don't even know! How could they help? I feel like I have to be continually reaching out and no one is reaching in. Except my best friend who is in my home country who I talk to every day online but who also has a lot of stuff going on and I don't want to overdo it.
I started taking an SSRI again in the fall but as of sunday I stopped taking them because I feel so done with this trying. And I was sick of feeling so flat. At least now I can cry a bit. I just feel like my life is over. I had to postpone graduating so I won't be finishing this year as planned because this depression has stopped me from being able to work. I feel like the school has just completely forgotten about me and I am just here, so pathetic, unable to do much and wasting all my savings and student loan.
I have been seeing a psychologist but at our last appointment he said that maybe this was doing more harm than good and we should stop, or space them out more. And its true but makes me feel more alone.
I know stopping meds cold turkey is the worst idea, but so far I feel a bit better.
I have an appointment tomorrow with the psychiatrist to maybe switch to different meds. I just can't really see past this right now. I feel like my life really is over. Its either over in the sense that I'm going to die or in that I need to make a massive change. I don't know what to do. Hitting a wall.

You're feeling better because the medication is still working in your system. For the love of all that is great, stay on the meds until you see a doctor etc