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Old Jan 21, 2018, 12:46 AM
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arnie91 arnie91 is offline
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Location: Ontario
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I was late for work this week, which mortified me... that's what started this mental breakdown to my boss. I told her I am too stressed and anxious all the time at work. We do work that if done wrong could cause harm. It was making me nervous that I would make a mistake and possibly hurt someone. I just wasn't cut out for it and it was all pouring out of me in this moment. I went on to tell her how I was depressed and taking work home with me causing me constant anxiety. It has been overwhelming the whole time I work there. So I tell her that I need to quit.

From here she tries to convince me to not leave. Keeps telling me ill regret it (although I hardly make more than minimum wage). That this is the wrong decision. It almost made me feel like she didn't care about my feelings at all. Even tried to blame my depression on home life (specifically my boyfriend, which is not the case).

I've discussed this with lots of friends and family and they all feel I need to do what's best for me right now regardless of what my boss or coworkers might think. They agree that I'm not healthy mentally or physically (I stopped eating from stress. Almost vomited the day I quit) and that I need to focus on myself and my needs.
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  #2  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 04:34 AM
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jazper jazper is offline
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Good luck to you for being brave. Only you know how much is your absolute limit and when you have reached it. You have to do what is right for your health. However, that said, sometimes we have to do a job that brings in money but that we don't always like.
I hope you won't end up on a park bench because of your inability to cope. Please get some help from somewhere. Be safe and take care. I feel the same but am stuck in my career.
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  #3  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 05:06 AM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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You did what was the best thing for yourself. No point in keeping your job if it puts you on the verge of insanity. Perhaps you can apply for an insurance since you have MI?
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  #4  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 05:35 AM
avlady avlady is offline
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i feel for you, jobs can be stressful. i am on disability for years now and don't think because of my health i could work again, are you on disability or trying to get it?
  #5  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 08:42 AM
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arnie91 arnie91 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 64
No I have a promising job opportunity. But I'm not worried because like I said I can get a minimum wage job and still do almost as good as I was doing money wise.
  #6  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 08:57 AM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arnie91 View Post
I was late for work this week, which mortified me... that's what started this mental breakdown to my boss. I told her I am too stressed and anxious all the time at work. We do work that if done wrong could cause harm. It was making me nervous that I would make a mistake and possibly hurt someone. I just wasn't cut out for it and it was all pouring out of me in this moment. I went on to tell her how I was depressed and taking work home with me causing me constant anxiety. It has been overwhelming the whole time I work there. So I tell her that I need to quit.

From here she tries to convince me to not leave. Keeps telling me ill regret it (although I hardly make more than minimum wage). That this is the wrong decision. It almost made me feel like she didn't care about my feelings at all. Even tried to blame my depression on home life (specifically my boyfriend, which is not the case).

I've discussed this with lots of friends and family and they all feel I need to do what's best for me right now regardless of what my boss or coworkers might think. They agree that I'm not healthy mentally or physically (I stopped eating from stress. Almost vomited the day I quit) and that I need to focus on myself and my needs.
I understand what you've been through, having been there myself, and needing to make a decision for you own health. It is a hard decision to make because we do have to consider how we are going to support ourselves.

A few years ago I was in an toxic work environment. I won't say it was hostile, it was just toxic. (I find toxicity is common where no independent HR personnel is in place.) I took some time off to seek treatment for my depression, but when I came back to work, it was only worse. So I resigned due to medical reasons. It worked out for me because my employer, although they were hostile towards me in the workplace, supported my application for disability insurance through our private insurer. This helped me get my insurance plus later on SSDI was easier to get approved.

Sometimes you have to make the decision that's the best for your health. Because you have to ask yourself, is the money worth it if you literally want to kill yourself because of your job? Or worse, would you end up fired because of it? It's much easier to tell a future potential employer you left due to medical reasons than explain why you were fired. I was at the point where my PTSD symptoms were so activated at work all the time, that I can't even remember now if some of my co-workers were as bad as I thought they were (one in particular) or if I was just projecting a flashback onto her. It was a little of both, I believe. But I couldn't function because of it. So better to resign due to medical reasons than stick around until they fire me.

I think you made a good call. Especially if finding a replacement job won't be too difficult. The only thing I would've suggested is trying to stick it out until the new job is in place, then giving your notice. But you did what YOU needed to do for YOU. That's all you need to know. And your family is supportive. So don't let what some random supervisor says bother you. She's just trying to do what she thinks might help, both her and you. She doesn't understand the nature of your anxiety and depression and is just trying to keep an already trained employee.

You did the best you could.

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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arnie91
  #7  
Old Jan 21, 2018, 02:20 PM
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arnie91 arnie91 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 64
Thank you seesaw! I'm finding strength in other people's understanding of my situation. The depression is just too much to handle. Xoxo
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