[MatBell]

Hi everyone.
I just wanted to write about this, I hope some of you are in a similar situation.

I just feel really sorry for my mom and her situation breaks my heart. I just talked to her today. She lives alone and has had mental problems for most of her life. I only got to understand the extent of it as I got older. She was molested by her father when she was young and that's probably where it all started.

She has been in a lot of trouble, all kinds of health problems and been in a subscription pill addiction for several years that also affected me when I was younger and probably started my own depressive episodes.

She is living on a shoestring budget, in and out of jobs, and only has her mother to help and support her. She has done so much for her always, physically, emotionally and financially.

So now I heard that she just had to quit a job she was in for only two days. It was a menial warehouse job that took a toll on a physically. It just broke my heart hearing this having to do this job at her age.

Luckily she doesn't succumb to self-pity and usually have a good attitude - when I talk to her in any case. However, it still gets me sad.

This isn't the first time I feel like this. Not at all. But I wish I could do something for her that would make her happy, do something to fix things a bit. She has had such a hard, difficult life and it hurts to see as her son. I would just like to make the time she has left good. She so deserves it. I hope I won't be racked with guilty and sorrow when she's gone thinking back on her life. I fear that a bit.

I just wanted to get these thoughts down. Maybe you have some advice or can relate to it with your family members or friends.

Can she apply for SSDI due to her mental, physical problems?

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by ForWhatItsWorth2U

Can she apply for SSDI due to her mental, physical problems?

I live in Denmark so things are a bit different here. She is on a program where she only has to work 4 hours each day and still paid for full-time work. But work is till difficult to find.
No matter what she has had issues for so many years now and that’s what gets to me.

My mother had issues. No matter what I did, I could not help her. She died two years ago and I never really felt sad, not sad in the way that most people would feel when their mother dies. She was 82 when she died, yet she never really "lived" her life. That's what made me sad. She was an addicted gambler.

[ncrust]

Why don't you bring her to live with you? She can be close and you can take good care of her. why not?

how far away do you live from her?

I am sure just visiting her and being their for her is a nice start.

Originally Posted by MatBell

Hi everyone.
I just wanted to write about this, I hope some of you are in a similar situation.

I just feel really sorry for my mom and her situation breaks my heart. I just talked to her today. She lives alone and has had mental problems for most of her life. I only got to understand the extent of it as I got older. She was molested by her father when she was young and that's probably where it all started.

She has been in a lot of trouble, all kinds of health problems and been in a subscription pill addiction for several years that also affected me when I was younger and probably started my own depressive episodes.

She is living on a shoestring budget, in and out of jobs, and only has her mother to help and support her. She has done so much for her always, physically, emotionally and financially.

So now I heard that she just had to quit a job she was in for only two days. It was a menial warehouse job that took a toll on a physically. It just broke my heart hearing this having to do this job at her age.

Luckily she doesn't succumb to self-pity and usually have a good attitude - when I talk to her in any case. However, it still gets me sad.

This isn't the first time I feel like this. Not at all. But I wish I could do something for her that would make her happy, do something to fix things a bit. She has had such a hard, difficult life and it hurts to see as her son. I would just like to make the time she has left good. She so deserves it. I hope I won't be racked with guilty and sorrow when she's gone thinking back on her life. I fear that a bit.

I just wanted to get these thoughts down. Maybe you have some advice or can relate to it with your family members or friends.

my mother spent her time abusing me.

now she is emigrated, and she is with a boyfriend in africa who abuses her constantly.

and the sad thing is?

she thinks it's okay, and lets him do it.

it's sad because part of me thinks well.. you know, it's her life, she's cut out her children, so we can't help her- she's chosen it for herself, but part of me wishes that she would see that what is happening is wrong. just because she abused her children, she doesn't need to live in an abusive situation, she could live somewhere people take care of her

and then I think well.... she's indipendent enough to take care of herself

I don't know really. she's going to come to a nasty end if she won't accept that the abuse is wrong

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

my mother spent her time abusing me.


now she is emigrated, and she is with a boyfriend in africa who abuses her constantly.


and the sad thing is?


she thinks it's okay, and lets him do it.


it's sad because part of me thinks well.. you know, it's her life, she's cut out her children, so we can't help her- she's chosen it for herself, but part of me wishes that she would see that what is happening is wrong. just because she abused her children, she doesn't need to live in an abusive situation, she could live somewhere people take care of her


and then I think well.... she's indipendent enough to take care of herself


I don't know really. she's going to come to a nasty end if she won't accept that the abuse is wrong

Sorry to hear. In the end I guess we have to live our own lives the best we can. As you said, our parents are independent and should be responsible themselves.

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by ForWhatItsWorth2U

My mother had issues. No matter what I did, I could not help her. She died two years ago and I never really felt sad, not sad in the way that most people would feel when their mother dies. She was 82 when she died, yet she never really "lived" her life. That's what made me sad. She was an addicted gambler.

In the end we can’t really “save” them. Just trying to be there and help if we can. I both feel pity towards my mom and anger because her issues made my life much, much harder than it had to be..

[MickeyCheeky]

You're helping just by being around her. That's all you can do, so please don't feel guilty about it.

Originally Posted by MatBell

Sorry to hear. In the end I guess we have to live our own lives the best we can. As you said, our parents are independent and should be responsible themselves.

#
oh I agree

no one can live someone else's life for them, and sad as it is when someone decides to take the wrong path, I guess all we can do is accept it.

it's their life, they need to deal with the conciquences